Last week I bought a case of Snapple iced tea and realized that I am an educationally changed woman. Snapple gives me something that all of academia could not. It gives me useless facts in serving sized portions.
I am wondering why I spent four years working my way through college and why I challenged my sanity by entering graduate school as a working mom of two. I was ill-informed before Snapple.
I don’t need higher education to do third grade homework and blog. I just need a few cases of Snapple. Sorry mom & dad. I could have saved you thousands if only I’d been enlightened sooner.
So now I will bequeath my new knowledge to you.
Did you know that frogs never drink?
More importantly, did you know they never drink and drive??
The speed limit in New York City was 8 mph in 1895. I didn’t even know they had speed limits in the 1800’s. I’m pretty sure they didn’t have anti-lock breaks or airbags.
Did you know that Texas is the only state that allows a person to vote from space? You just never know when you’re going to be cruising the milky way during an election year. Never underestimate the political prowess of a Texan.
The Statue of Liberty has 7 spikes, one for each continent. I took New York State history as a kid and I didn’t know that. Maybe my school should have issued bottles of Snapple instead of textbooks. We would have been well hydrated and ready for Jeopardy.
The children who attend New York City’s public schools represent 188 different countries. This is why my husband thinks I grew up in Sesame Street. I’ll always have a soft spot in my heart for Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Parents, listen up! Do yourselves a favor. Close the college funds and invest that money in Snapple stock. Start clipping coupons and buy in bulk.
Snapple, you can thank me later.
I wonder I’ll get a kickback for this post…a case of tea would be nice anyway.
Your educationally awakened,
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17 Comments
July 8, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Nice to know. Remember the Snapple lady?
July 8, 2009 at 8:14 pm
I want a college tuition refund!!!
July 8, 2009 at 9:22 pm
I don’t think I’ve had a Snapple since high school!
July 8, 2009 at 9:23 pm
Where’s my diploma from the U. Of S.? Actually I just learned that bit of information about the spikes this past weekend, but I didn’t know the Texas tidbit and I’m a born and raised Texan! Just goes to show we take voting seriously down here in these parts to the point of voting twice if necessary.
Fun post! BTW, I love Snapple Diet Tea with peach.
Debbie
July 8, 2009 at 10:19 pm
My favorite part of the whole Snapple thing is the icy-cold glass jars. I get so sick of plastic jugs!!! Eh
July 8, 2009 at 10:38 pm
I might be odd, but I love those weird facts!
July 8, 2009 at 11:24 pm
Ok, I guess it’s time to get me some Snapple!!! I love all these interesting facts!!!!! Great post!
July 9, 2009 at 12:18 am
Sweet! And Snapple-y!
July 9, 2009 at 2:58 am
I wonder if Snapple would put questions instead of facts on those caps? Imagine opening a Snapple and instead of learning “frogs never drink” you are asked “what is time?”.
July 9, 2009 at 3:00 am
You get my vote for original post topic of the day!
PS Is that a teeny tiny smiley face above your header banner?
July 9, 2009 at 9:05 am
hA! I gotta get me some. There’s hope for me yet.
July 9, 2009 at 9:14 am
I’m with Angie…I’ve noticed that tiny smiley face before…what’s up with that?
Hey…I learned this morning that albatrosses only drinks saltwater.
I’m sure one day, that info will come in handy.
July 9, 2009 at 9:35 am
HAHA! Hilarious!! I gotta say, though, I’m a Lipton girl myself. Must be the South.
July 9, 2009 at 9:52 am
I’ve never tried Snapple, but if those jewels of information are on the bottle (and it tastes good), then I might have to get some. I’ll do anything to make my peeps read.
July 9, 2009 at 10:44 am
Step away from the Snapple. Slowly. Step away.
And no one gets hurt…
July 9, 2009 at 8:55 pm
The smiley face is put there by wordpress, its on all wordpress blogs if you look for it. On mine its at the very bottom.
July 14, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I’m with Amber – I hate drinking out of anything not glass. But, I don’t recall, ever, in my life drinking a Snapple. You have peaked my curiosity. I will have to check it out. And all these years, I have been happy just looking at the pictures on Jones’ Soda bottles! ~Mindy