My Pretentious Life

grandiose, hoity-toity, puffy, self-important, flamboyant, ostentatious, splashy, ambitious, arrogant, arty, bombastic, conceited – PRETENTIOUS

Recently Chrissy from By The Light Of The Silvery Moon left me a comment.  Chrissy is family, my live spell-checker (blame her for all errors), and it seems she’s now heading up a myth-buster team to watchdog my blog.  If at any point in my life I do something noteworthy, I’ll be sure to appoint her president of my fan club…FringeFans.

“You [that would be me, FringeGirl] are such a dork. Exactly who is it that you see that lives in Atlanta? Now, I know a Pat in Powder Springs. Is John’s family in Atlanta? Stop being pretentious. You visit Powder Springs and some other lesser known town, don’t you?”  -Chrissy

Chrissy is referring to a comment I made in Quackers…not Quakers.  In-case some of you who have been reading my blog regularly missed the fact that I lead a pretentious life, I want to introduce you to my world.

pretentiouscarandhouse1This is my Long Island home – just one of many.  I do keep an apartment in Manhattan, but only stay overnight when I’m taking in a show on Broadway or I’ve over-shopped in Bloomies and don’t feel like taking the drive back to The Hamptons.  I relish a night in the City and delight in dining at Donald’s place.  Yes, I do mean Trump.

bloomys

Although I do fly into Atlanta on occasion, my pilot understands we take MY plane. 

privatejet

I simply catch-up on my beauty sleep in the jet and am ready for my exotic destinations.  Recently, I took holiday in Bali with a few of my girlfriends.

vacation

I enjoyed lazy days frolicking on the beach.

myselfonbeach

That new Mary Kay cellulite reducing cream works miracles.  You should definitely order a case or ten.  The hot guy out there on the water’s edge gawked as if I were a swimsuit model admired me from afar.

limodriver

James, my driver, is such a patient man.  He took me out to do a little shopping.

teamofdesigners

I have a wonderful team of designers who know just what I need for the upcoming New Year’s Eve Ball.  (Do pretentious people still go to balls?)

I do hope you enjoy life as much as I do.  Living pretensiously has so many advantages.

map

To the left of the tack, you will see Powder Springs…actually “owder Sprs.”, but I think you get the point.  My Aunt Pat lives in Powder Springs.  I do fly into Atlanta, on my private jet of course, and then my driver zips me over to Powder Springs where I lounge by the pool for a week at a time and eat delicacies prepared my aunt’s hired servants.

Love to you All!  Yes, even you other prententious dorks out there.

I think the signature is the cause of my pretentious downfall.  Ever since I started using it, I feel so important.

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13 thoughts on “My Pretentious Life

  1. Aunt Pat

    You are the reason I’m still in my pajama’s, I have just spent the last three hours catching up on your Nov and Dec blogs… Fringegirl you are amazing …. please never change. I have laughted and cried …. I love you.

    I like the post – Powder Springs is 2008’s must-have zip code – thanks Rachel. Don’t forget the airport is in Atlanta and the Atlanta Zoo and typing Atlanta is shorter than Powder Springs … less chance for typos. I am a fringefan for sure.

    Reply
  2. Stonefox

    All I have to say is that I’m glad the watchdog lives in your family, not mine. I do believe my to-be nose piercing would probably be something the watch dog would want to bark at. Pretentious doesn’t seem so bad now after all, does it? woof woof.

    Reply
  3. andrea frazer

    ha ha ha! I, too, live in a pretentious world. In fact, I’m not even typing my comment. My butler, Regis, is doing it for me. Yes, it is indeed Regis of Kathy Lee fame. I am so important, he gave up his talk show and a potential windfall as the spokesperson for Viagra to come to my cull de sac and hen peck at my bacteria ridden keyboard. I can’t talk long, because I’m too good for you, and Oprah is going to make my gluten free mac and cheese for me as I stare at my dishes and wonder who will wipe my butt next. The curse of being so good.

    Reply
  4. robinaltman

    Wow! I’m excited to know you! Wait till I tell people that I know Fringegirl! They’re going to poop their pants! Wait. That didn’t sound very pretentious. They’re going to delicately snort Perrier onto their Prada pantsuits!

    Reply
  5. Mama Belle

    Well, you glad you are participating in “Dare to Wear,” where you can be even more pretentious. Hope your attire doesn’t get your hubby fired. (Hey, that was a rhyme … sort of.) Anyway, this event should prove to be quite humorous.

    Reply

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