Behind Closed Doors

If you are new to the domestic fringe, I am entertaining reader questions.  See this post.   I must say, for as much as my mother laughed at this question, it also sent her into a panic. 

She called right away.  “You’re not really going to show the insides of your closets, are you?”

To her dismay, I’d already snapped the pictures. 

It’s all guts and gore today.

Sarah asked,

How about pictures of all of your drawers and closets?!??! Yes, we want to know all of your secrets and how you keep your linen closet organized….

I preface these pictures by saying, you already know my weak spot and you’re hitting below the belt.  NOT NICE!

Linen Closet

Linen Closet

You’re not going to believe this, but a legion of tiny gremlins invaded my home and destroyed my neatly organized closets.  I slept right through the chaos and when I awoke, I shuddered in fright at the sight.

Bad to the Bling

Bad to the Bling

I could have shown tons of pictures of my nice, neat little home.  On the surface everything seems very organized and spacious.  I don’t like my living space to be overly cluttered, and I’ve even been complimented on my organizational skills. 

FringeMan is appalled when these compliments are granted and I graciously accept them without a flutter to my lashes. 

For you see, he knows the truth.  He opens the closets everyday. 

100_2907

His heart and mind scream “FACADE!”

100_2908

There is a method to my madness.  What appears to be disorganization is really the secret to snoop proofing my home. 

FringeKid's Closet

FringeKid's Closet

A nosey guest arrives (they always come for a look-see),  and midway through the evening she excuses herself to use the restroom.  While you’re busy serving, clearing, and being entertaining, she’s catching quick glimpses of your drawers and closets.  She’s learning all your secrets and possibly taking pictures to use as blackmail.

The contents of my snoop-proof closets avalanche at this unsuspecting guest the moment the door is cracked. 

I hear the thud and muffled scream – the sound of a woman being buried alive in towels. 

I smile in delight. 

She’s been caught in the act and possibly reformed for life.  I’ve accomplished in one evening what years of therapy could not. 

100_2911

I’ve rid the world of a snoop.

Yes, I keep the coffee with the pans.  Save it for the comments section!

100_2912

If you’d like to send the organization fairy, I’ll email you my address.  She’s always welcome! 

Maybe she has discounts for repeat consults.

Are you happy Sara?  The guts, the gore, the glitz – it’s all yours!

You can thank me for boosting your self-esteem later.

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22 thoughts on “Behind Closed Doors

  1. Pingback: Am I Crazy? « the domestic fringe

  2. thelovemonkey

    Wahhahaahhaa. I’ll take some pics of my stuff. 🙂 I’ll start with the good ones, then the next day I’ll do the bad ones. 😀

    Reply
  3. Tracey

    I think your doing a great job and really inspiring, I’m new to your post and think its’ wonderfi. Someday I’ll tackel my own closets and get things in order and really make it work, My worst spot is my kitchen. I have no room in my cupboads and things get lost or never used. I love dishes and have way too many of them too.. Found you blog and I’ll be back..

    Reply
  4. Debbie York

    Hey do like I do. If you don’t fold the towels, etc then the linen closet never gets messed up because there is nothing in there. Easy peasy, to quote blogland. Your bling drawer? Now I can help you out there. Go buy those over-the-door hook thingys. ( you know the ones with several hooks on the). Hang it on the back of your bedroom door and hang pendants, bracelets, bangles, etc. on it. I’m very visual and if I can’t see it, well I just forget I have it until we are halfway to where we’re going and suddenly I remember the perfect bracelet for what I’m wearing., only it’s stuck in a drawer. Works for me and it actually looks pretty. That’s my one organizational tip. You can see where my priorities lie. Debbie

    Reply
  5. SYDNEY

    Oh what a wonderful post. I have the opposite problem. I have too much stuff littering my desk, the counters, the dining table, around the TV…. My husband has learned that it takes only 15 minutes to have it all looking far more presentable, so he doesn’t feel so anxious about it when we have company coming. I too prefer an uncluttered space… I don’t have many pictures in frames and tchochk’s on shelves and tables as a result. But I am clearly FULLY missing the gene that keeps clutter out of things. I truly don’t know how people who are that way do it and I wish they’d TELL ME, PLEASE!!!?!?!?

    But inside my drawers, closets, etc. It’s very organized. No kidding. I have no clue as to how this is. Your style makes far more sense.

    PS: the child’s closet is boardering on perfection, as are your kitchen cupboards. I like it that your linens are set for the snoop and of course, the timing of the gremlins are impeccable.

    Reply
  6. sara's art house

    YESSSSSSS!!!!! I love it- my linen closet looks almost EXACTLY like yours!!!! It made me laugh and smile so much to see yours that i will have to post mine 🙂 🙂

    Honestly, your cupboards are much more organized than mine.

    THanks for the pics!!!!!

    Reply
  7. Mindy

    Your honesty should be rewarded. I wish I lived next door. While my closets/cabinets don’t look much different, and in some cases, worse, I would love to come over and help you organize! I was blessed enough to have a life coach come in, a while back. We worked side by side, cleaning/organizing. I wish I could afford her again! She was amazing. ~Mindy

    Reply
  8. Janna Qualman

    Aw, that’s not so bad! Or… maybe I’m even worse off than you…

    **

    I had a dream last night that our two families ran into each other at a restaurant. (Apparently we travel to NY in my dreams.) What a fun and sassy meeting it was! 😉

    Reply

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