This morning on the domestic fringe, chaos erupted. Cartoons were blaring and the dog was operating at full hyper-puppy capacity. I fear she got a few licks of caffeinated coffee.
While I was disengaging the puppy’s mouth from my daughter’s stockinged foot, I glanced outside at the peaceful world of cool breezes, winter sunshine, and traffic.
“That’s it!” I declared. “Everybody get dressed and go outside to play.”
Not in the traffic. Just making intentions clear.
Fringeboy disappeared for a few minutes and I started folding the laundry that consumed my couch. As I passed my desk, I noticed a paper covering my keyboard.
We the people… (notice the fancy font)
Declare a right to be free to go in and out of the house as we please. Not to be pushed out of the house and told to be outside until lunch or dinner. (consider it if you want, but don’t let it be to long.) Even if our Dog is crazy, I can handle it.
Parents, please sign here,
I almost spit coffee all over my computer. Not able to speak for fear of hysteria, I calmly got up and walked out of the room.
We The Parents (we have right too you know)
Retain the right of parental authority in our home. We will tell you to go outside for daily doses of fresh air, sunshine, and physical activity. You must also play with your crazy puppy! Outside play time must be longer than 10 minutes. We promise not to allow you to miss any meals.