A Late Riser

I am not a morning person.

I can find no way of sugar coating that fact.  To know me is to know not to speak me until I’ve been awake for at least three hours.  It’s not that I hate your guts in the morning, because I don’t.  My brain just cannot process voices and words until it has had time to slowly come to life.

I snooze my alarm, currently my phone alarm since my daughter took back her clock, at least 5 times before turning it off.  I then roll out of bed, trip over the dog, and stumble my way into the bathroom. 

the clock my daughter stole

the clock my daughter stole

You see, I don’t drink caffeine.  Well, I do use small doses of caffeine on rare occasions, but only when absolutely necessary. 

The rest of you use coffee or diet coke to awaken your brains, but I am a purest.  I use time.

My children know not to ask the tough questions in the morning.   “Why are we out of frozen waffles?”  That question needs to wait until lunchtime to be asked.  They know just to grab something else – cereal, banana, yogurt, granola bars, dog food – anything else.

Needless to say, I don’t dress up for the morning bus stop.  I realize some do.  They actually put on day clothes and comb their hair before greating their bus drivers, but I do not.

I stand in the rain, cold, and snow in my slippers, pajama pants, and crazy hair.  At times I think I should at least purchase new pajama pants.  You see, I’m still wearing this pair of blue and red plaid sleepy pants that my sister-in-law, Kelly, had the wisdom of throwing out several years ago.  They were once flannel, but all the flannel seems to have washed away.  I noticed they are developing wear holes.  I’m just thankful they’re still in inconspicuous places.

I live on a busy street.  At street where at least 4 or 5 cars pass me by in the morning beeping and waving.  I know these people, but usually don’t recoginize them until several hours later.  I told you that my brain is slow in the morning.

My point? 

Do I need a point?

My point – Are you a morning person?  More importantly, do you dress up for the bus?

If you said yes to the second question, please give the rest of us late risers a break and at least leave off the lipstick at 7 am.

I’m going to get another cup of decaf now.


26 thoughts on “A Late Riser

  1. Hat Chick

    I am a 6 am morning person. Wake me any earlier and I’ll just wave you off. (Big Daddy gets up at 4:45am…..crazy!)

    I have been to the bus stop in everything from ballcap and sweats to full on makeup, suit and black pumps. My neighbors never know what to expect. I’m just mysterious that way.

  2. Heth

    I’m a recent convert. Never liked mornings until the last five years or so. And I discovered? It’s quiet in the house before 7 am. Go figure!

  3. Cathy

    I am NOT a morning person that’s why I work midnights. I go home at 8am and by 820 I am asleep until I decide to wake up. Emma the dog used to get me up for a break and she has now learned to sleep right through with me. Ya know no one is happy if mamma isn’t happy. As I write this at 542 AM I sure wish it was 820..ugggg

  4. Pilar Stark

    I am so not a morning person either. I can stay up as long as I need to, but in the morning….. I just can’t do it. so I try not to get appointment early in the morning or I know I will get there late. Of course, I have three kids so I use them as an excuse.
    My husband is a morning person, as well as my youngest one……. He is a life saver in that area though. He is the only reason why the girls get to school at time every morning :). It usually takes me an hour every morning before I turn into my cheery self…. ha!

  5. elizabeth channel

    OK, all these 5:30 chipper people are making me ill! I throw myself out of bed around 7:45…sometimes 8:00. (I know this is a travesty…) I hastily dress my three-year-old for carpool while I slog down two cups of coffee very quickly. My boys, who are homeschooled, do their ‘morning work’ while I greet my happy morning carpool friend, me dressed in blue scrubs that are shredded at the bottom, 15-year-old glasses and my hair all a-scatter.

    Just to make you feel better about your pj pants, I went to a garage sale like 7 years ago, and this girl gave me a huge box of her cast-off clothes. These scrubs are part of that box…see, aren’t you feeling better? (Oh and on the days that I carpool, I do put on sweat pants and a baseball cap…) I just can’t really function until 9 am. I’ve tried for a lifetime, and I just cannot.

    I cannot fathom how you subsist without caffeine.

  6. jennifer

    Nooooooo, definitely not a morning person and I use the time method to wake up too. I am usually hiding behind the front door in my tshirt and drawers when the bus runs (I am SO lucky that we dont have to go to a bus stop). If there were ever an emergency and I had to run outside, all of those kiddos would say “hey, your mom really needs some new underwear.”

    How about a picture of your crazy hair? I am intrigued.

  7. Erin

    I’m an upandatum kinda gal, teeth, dressed, hair, makeup, ten minutes. And then three cups of coffee and three hours later, tada, you can talk to me.

    dog food…you funny!

  8. robinaltman

    Not a morning person, but I’m OK if I have to get up for work. The alarm rings, and I go eat breakfast in an OK mood. But give me the opportunity to sleep in, and I can stay in bed all day. I mean ALL day!

  9. caprik

    I never used to be a morning person, but I have crossed over to the other side. My alarm goes off at 6, but 9 times out of 10, I am already awake.
    Even in the summer, I wake up around 6:30. I am just an old lady now.
    I do like to have a couple cups of tea.
    I never had to go to the bus stop, but I drove kids to school FOR YEARS in my jammies!

  10. Mom

    HA ha ha I KNOW you are not a morning person–never was and never will be!
    Do you want me to sing you awake? “Rise and shine and give God the glory, glory!”

  11. Evergreen

    I’M A MORNING PERSON!!!!!!!!! Never knew it until I lived with you for a semester andd you and Shera almost removed my head one morning for being chipper. 😉 If I had children, I would probably have some makeup on while waiting for the bus. And maybe the hair done……..maybe, but more likely it would just be pulled back in a clip. But then, you and Kelly are ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS au natural, so neither of you need to wear makeup AT ALL!!! =)

  12. Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com

    I am so far beyond hating the morning that it isn’t even funny. Donald calls me a grouchpot.

    Which is the same thing my grandmother called me. Grouchpot. After I was too old to be called a fusspot anymore.

    I hate mornings.

  13. Cher

    I need milk in the morning. And I’ll be dressed…might not have any underwear on but I’ll be dressed early. I love to get up before everybody and read my paper and drink my milk!

    The Texas Woman

  14. JanMary, N Ireland

    I am such a morning person.

    However we don’t have bus pick ups here – so I either have to walk the kids to school or drive. I have to deliver my 4 year old into the classroom – and would not recommend doing it in PJ’s.

    There is no way I have lipstick on, but I am always “dressed to shoes” as flylady would say.

    I always wake before my alarm – usually around 6.30.

    Even when I don’t have to get up, I rarely fall back to sleep, and even a long lie-in does not go past 9am.

  15. David

    Unless I’m sleep deprived, I function pretty good in the morning. I drink two cups of coffee every morning. Usually, by the time I’ve finished the first one, I’m fairly pleasant.

  16. Nina in Portugal

    Also not a morning person. But after a cup of coffee….(decaf is for sissy’s)…I’m good to go.

    However another cup must follow at mid morning, then right after lunch…and yet another about 4:00…..

    Okay…so maybe I’m the sissy…can’t get through a day without caffeine.

    I’m starting to not like this post….

  17. Jo@Mylestones

    Oh yes, I’m a morning person. But I could stay in my worn out flannel PJs all day and be the merrier for it. And make-up? I wear it maybe once a month, and never before noon.
    I do enjoy the morning (especially when I make it up before the kids). But I cheat, as in double shot espresso, light on the milk, hold the sugar, cheat. Purist, eh? I can’t even fathom that…

  18. Kelly

    Oh, I remember those pants well. I’m sure you look adorable 🙂 And no, you KNOW I’m not a morning person. My cup of coffee in the morning is my life. My blood. My whole existance. I don’t know if I’d wake up without it. Ever.

    Now, the bus stop? I would say I would go out with the natural look, BUT, I really think I would put on makeup and put my hair up. If I know me at all – I say I would. And I think you would probably agree 🙂

  19. Rachel

    Once I’ve had my shower, I’m a total morning person (which is why showering is the first thing I do after peeing). Mornings are when I get my best (physical) work done. I have to do my Bible study and stuff at night as I’m winding down. It’s really weird.

    I don’t have a bus to dress up for, but I probably wouldn’t. Even though I am mostly a morning person, comfort always trumps fashion in the AM.

  20. TCKK

    Not particularly a morning person, but I have to get up to go to work. So I do it just because I have to. If I can get up when I wake up then I’m fine, but if I have to get up by an alarm, no fun at all. 🙂

  21. Mindy

    I am not a morning person if you wake me up early. If I am allowed to sleep until my BODY says “get up”, then I’m pretty good. But, for me to get up earlier than desired AND be functioning and pleasant? Uh…probably not gonna happen. There is no bus. But, if there were, I’d be next to you in the pajama bottoms and snowy covered slippers. The only difference? I’d have caffeine in hand. ~Mindy

  22. Janna Qualman

    This is me, FringeGirl. I’m like you; I can’t get out of bed until the snooze button has been used at least three times. It’s a mental thing. And I always wear my pjs to take Biggest to school, though if I had to get out of the vehicle it would be a different thing. 🙂


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