Although I’ve watched Cars at least a hundred times and I think Lighting McQueen is adorable, I’m not really a fan of the races.
All that changed tonight.
I am a new person.
I am a race fan.
I want to feel the wind blow through my hair and hear the buzz of the tires as they spin faster than the whisk on my Kitchen Aide.
I want to win!
My kids were involved in this little boxcar race tonight and I felt good about our cars until they put my daughter’s sparkling jewel on the digital scale.
I almost had the same feeling of hopeless despair as when I stepped on my scale this morning. The kind of despair that makes you want to head right for the highest bridge and JUMP!
Not really. If you’ve ever seen me on a step ladder, you’d know I’d never jump. I couldn’t even get close enough to the edge to make my mother nervous.
My car wasn’t heavy enough! Can you believe it? It’s the same problem I had when I got on the scale.
Anyway, I painted that little car with with 2 coats of nail-polish, added little flower decals, and top coated the whole thing with a clear coat infused with glitter. I love this car!
I gave it a manicure and pedicure. It’s seen more polish than my nails have in the last 6 months.
I had to ruin it with hot glue and weights to ensure a 5oz weight. Next year I’m buying a digital scale, melting metal, and greasing my wheels.
Next year I want to win.
I mean, I want my kids to win, but you knew that. Didn’t you?
Not even FringeBoy’s gator car stood a chance.
We’ve got ginormous “L’s” tattooed on our foreheads.
This was my favorite car. Now you’d think I would’ve come up with that candy bar design.
No, I’m a **LOSER**.
Next year we will not be outdone. If it takes me the entire winter, I’m going to engineer a cute, fast car. By the way, cute is as important as fast.
I’m sure you knew that already.