When you think about New York City’s food, you envision yourself sitting in some of the finest restaurants in the world, indulging in gourmet meals that are almost too much of a masterpiece to digest. You read the reviews, you purchased a copy of Zagat’s, and your mouth is watering for the exotic.
And what post do I bring you today?
The Hot Dog! That’s what.
Remember, I’m here to tell you whatZagat’s won’t. When you’ve got a few kids hanging off your arm, pant’s leg, and purse who have been whining in hunger for an hour, you don’t have time for French sauces and fresh herbs. You need food fast!
Every mother knows that when their kid says he’s hungry, he’s on the verge of starvation. His energy is depleted and he just can’t walk that extra block to the real restaurant – the one with a menu and a waiter.
Besides if you somehow managed to pop in a pair of ear plugs or turn the volume to max on your ipod, you’d have lug this ornery, crying crew into a nice restaurant. Think about that for a second.
You’ll need to endure the glares of other diners who have either never had children or who were fortunate enough to have a nanny, tutor, and live-in grandma. One of your kids will outrun the waiter to the first empty table, while a fight ensues over who’s going to sit next to you. As the kids argue at a pitch that threatens to break the glass chandelier whose dim light once created a relaxing and slightly romantic mood, the water glass filled to its’ rim will crash to floor flooding half the restaurant, your once pressed pants, and the unsuspecting gentleman to your right.
We all know a glass of restaurant water is equivalent to a gallon of residential tap water.
So save yourself the gray hair, mental anguish, and child abuse charges. Shell out two dollars cash and buy the kid a hot dog off the street!
The ‘dirty water’ they sit in not only adds a rich flavor, but also builds immunity to every known disease and possibly a few that have yet to be discovered. It’s not important if that water hasn’t been changed for the last month week. The hot dog is GOOD! One of the best you’ll eat. Load up on ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, sauerkraut, chili, and Siracha hot sauce. You’ll be glad you did.
There are other delicacies of equal caliber in and around the city. Those living in New York take these tasty treats for granted. They are …..
Bagels & Pizza
I’ve lived outside New York and Mr. Bagel doesn’t know the first thing about making a good bagel.
I’ve gained 10 pounds since moving back to New York and the culprit is the bagel. They’re everywhere including my thighs! New Yorkers are two parts bagel and one part pizza.
Speaking of the pizza…Pappa John’s, Little Ceaser’s, and Dominoes DO NOT make pizza. They make a mildly palatable cardboard painted with ketchup and sprinkled with a manufactured cheese product.
A New York pizza’s smell alone sends your senses into overload. The tiger in your tummy lunges from your mouth in an attempt to consume a slice of the mouth-watering pie. It’s smeared with a layer of sauce that has simmered for a hundred years and was created by momma Leona herself. The pizza is then generously coated with a cheese so stringy it threatens to choke you. Children in New York don’t choke on grapes, they choke on the cheese from their pizza and they live to love it.
I’ve gotta stop. I’m hungry already.
Don’t visit New York without eating a fresh bagel for breakfast, a dirty water dog for lunch, and a slice of pizza for dinner. After you’ve done that, you can consult Zagats, hire a sitter, and enjoy the restaurant of your choice.
Click HERE to read what else Zagats won’t tell you.
While we’re on the topic of NY, there’s not much that’s more NY than baseball. If you’re in the market for a Father’s Day gift or have a sports fan in the family, you need buy The Greatest Comeback Ever.
This is a 16 year-old’s daily account of the NY Yankees greatest comeback in history. It’s a must read and I’m not just saying that because the author is my friend.
Go visit his website and buy a book!