New York’s Finest Foods

When you think about New York City’s food, you envision yourself sitting in some of the finest restaurants in the world, indulging in gourmet meals that are almost too much of a masterpiece to digest.  You read the reviews, you purchased a copy of Zagat’s, and your mouth is watering for the exotic.

And what post do I bring you today?

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The Hot Dog!  That’s what.

Remember, I’m here to tell you whatZagat’s won’t.  When you’ve got a few kids hanging off your arm, pant’s leg, and purse who have been whining in hunger for an hour, you don’t have time for French sauces and fresh herbs.  You need food fast!

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Every mother knows that when their kid says he’s hungry, he’s on the verge of starvation.  His energy is depleted and he just can’t walk that extra block to the real restaurant – the one with a menu and a waiter.

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Besides if you somehow managed to pop in a pair of ear plugs or turn the volume to max on your ipod, you’d have lug this ornery, crying crew into a nice restaurant.  Think about that for a second.

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You’ll need to endure the glares of other diners who have either never had children or who were fortunate enough to have a nanny, tutor, and live-in grandma.  One of your kids will outrun the waiter to the first empty table, while a fight ensues over who’s going to sit next to you.  As the kids argue at a pitch that threatens to break the glass chandelier whose dim light once created a relaxing and slightly romantic mood, the water glass filled to its’ rim will crash to floor flooding half the restaurant, your once pressed pants, and the unsuspecting gentleman to your right. 

We all know a glass of restaurant water is equivalent to a gallon of residential tap water.

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So save yourself the gray hair, mental anguish, and child abuse charges.  Shell out two dollars cash and buy the kid a hot dog off the street!

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The ‘dirty water’ they sit in not only adds a rich flavor, but also builds immunity to every known disease and possibly a few that have yet to be discovered.  It’s not important if that water hasn’t been changed for the last month week.  The hot dog is GOOD!  One of the best you’ll eat.  Load up on ketchup, mustard, relish, onions, sauerkraut, chili, and Siracha hot sauce.  You’ll be glad you did.

There are other delicacies of equal caliber in and around the city.  Those living in New York take these tasty treats for granted.  They are …..

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Bagels & Pizza

I’ve lived outside New York and Mr. Bagel doesn’t know the first thing about making a good bagel.

100_0252I’ve gained 10 pounds since moving back to New York and the culprit is the bagel.  They’re everywhere including my thighs!  New Yorkers are two parts bagel and one part pizza.

Speaking of the pizza…Pappa John’s, Little Ceaser’s, and Dominoes DO NOT make pizza.  They make a mildly palatable cardboard painted with ketchup and sprinkled with a manufactured cheese product.

A New York pizza’s smell alone sends your senses into overload.  The tiger in your tummy lunges from your mouth in an attempt to consume a slice of the mouth-watering pie.  It’s smeared with a layer of sauce that has simmered for a hundred years and was created by momma Leona herself.  The pizza is then generously coated with a cheese so stringy it threatens to choke you.  Children in New York don’t choke on grapes, they choke on the cheese from their pizza and they live to love it.

I’ve gotta stop.  I’m hungry already.

Don’t visit New York without eating a fresh bagel for breakfast, a dirty water dog for lunch, and a slice of pizza for dinner.  After you’ve done that, you can consult Zagats, hire a sitter, and enjoy the restaurant of your choice.

Click HERE to read what else Zagats won’t tell you.

While we’re on the topic of NY, there’s not much that’s more NY than baseball.  If you’re in the market for a Father’s Day gift or have a sports fan in the family, you need buy The Greatest Comeback Ever.

paul's book

This is a 16 year-old’s daily account of the NY Yankees greatest comeback in history.  It’s a must read and I’m not just saying that because the author is my friend.

Go visit his website and buy a book!

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18 thoughts on “New York’s Finest Foods

  1. Mindy

    And cheesecake? I want an entire solo post on cheesecake with pictures and full descriptions of the crust. No toppings necessary, thank you. ~Mindy

    Reply
  2. ~annie

    OH, yes! NYC hot dogs off the street are the best! No place else can you get those onions the special way they fix them. I miss NYC…

    Reply
  3. DJ

    I can hear the passing traffic and feel the steam rising from the Bun-o-matic now…”Yeah, I want mustard w’ that…”

    (And, don’t forget ’bout the knishes…)

    Reply
  4. Carin

    Another great post, I know I’ve told you before but you are a fantastic writer! Seriously! Ah, I think those hot dogs look so yummy. Oh, and in this little teeny, tiny town we moved to, it has the best pizza place, no cardboard there =)

    Reply
  5. Hat Chick

    The best pizza I’ve ever put in my mouth came from some hole-in-the-wall in Brooklyn. I’m not a bagel-lover, but the best ones really do come from NYC. The secret is in the water for most of the really good food it seems.

    Reply
  6. Debbie York

    You say Siracha, I say Tabasco! Seriously, I can understand how the dirty water adds to the flavor…kind of like not cleaning the BBQ grill. I would love to eat a hot dog from an outside vendor. Closest thing we got is a foot long Corny Dog at Canton First Monday. Somehow, it just doesn’t seem the same!
    I hear you girl about kids and restaurants. You forgot about the trips to the bathroom…kids are just like dogs when it comes to marking their territory and it’s always just as the food arrives at the table.
    This was a fun post and the perfect way to start out Memorial Day. I am on my way to the grocers to get hot dog fixings!!!
    Debbie

    Reply
  7. jeannie

    i’m guessing the pizza place called “John’s” is in the village somewhere on bleeker st.

    choking on cheese brings back lots of memories…ahh good times, good times. the trick is you have to wait for the cheese to settle.

    as for bagels there’s a great place called H&H Bagels on the upper west side…it’s been awhile but i remember just buying the bagels…they won’t slap on the cream cheese for you. it’s sold separately in their fridge…i wonder if i can get them shipped via fed ex? hummmm…

    Reply
  8. Rachel

    I had a pizza at a place called John’s (I think) and I forgot what neighborhood it was in. It was TO DIE FOR. If I ever go back to NYC, I WILL find that place and go have pizza there again.

    Reply
  9. Lois Lane II

    Unfortunately, we’re Red Sox fans, so I don’t know if that book would work for us. LOL.

    When I went to NYC (about 5 years ago), I remember the hot dogs. Sooo good — as was the coffee and hot chocolate from street vendors. Yea!

    Reply
  10. robinaltman

    That was strangely appetizing in a very twisted way. It’s hard to type as I desperately rifle through the bread drawer looking for a bagel.

    Reply

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