Life After Hemorrhoids

If your family is anything like mine, I’d venture to guess that during holiday meals, the meals where the entire family is seated around three tables shoved together, somebody inevitably brings up digestive problems.

It’s usually Great Aunt Sally who starts this talk, but everyone over the age of 50 brightens with animated  conversation  centered around bloating, gas, heartburn, constipation and diarrhea.  Heaven forbid anyone have an upcoming colonoscopy scheduled!

I end up feeling like we should be shooting a commercial for Pepto-Bismol.  Similar conversations are going on in the adjacent room at the kid’s table.  The only difference is that the kids are laughing hysterically and using words like ‘poop’, ‘pee’, and ‘farts’.

Today I’m here to tell you that there’s hope for hemorrhoids, NOT that I have a hemorrhoid problem!  Just wanted to clear that up.

The key to many stomach problems is eating adequate amounts fiber.  The average American diet doesn’t provide enough fiber.  Let’s face it, McDonald’s quarter pounders don’t pack a nutritional punch.

Consider Ronald McDonald…

ronald

Perhaps his freakish look comes from prolonged constipation?

About six years ago FringeMan became quite sick.  He had a fever and stabbing stomach pains.  The doctor sent him for a ct-scan and it was quickly determined that he had diverticulitis.  Antibiotics cured the infection, but we had to make some serious changes in our diet.  The main thing we had to incorporate was FIBER.

After walking around the hospital in a gown and cowboy boots, enduring much shame, and experiencing the crazy sensations that come from drinking poisonous liquid that makes you glow in the dark, FringeMan was ready for change.

(It’s not necessary to mention to FringeMan that I’ve shared his bowel problems with the world.  Just saying…)

Today I will share with you a  few easy ways to incorporate fiber into your diet.

*  Eat wraps instead of bread.  The wraps labeled “low carb” are packed full of fiber.  One Mission brand carb balance wrap has 21 grams of dietary fiber.  That’s a lot of fiber!

You’d have to eat an entire cardboard box to get that much fiber and the wraps taste much better.  Trust me.

*  Use Wheat Germ.

Kretschmer-WheatGerm-Detail_sflb

Wheat germ is available in regular flavor or honey crunch.  You can spread the original flavor on high fiber cereal (hot or cold), throw some on your salad, or hide it in meatballs and meatloaf.  Be creative, you’ll think of a hundred ways to add this to your meals.

I love to use the honey crunch wheat germ to bread fish or chicken and then bake to a crisp in the oven.

chicken with honey crunch wheat germ

chicken with honey crunch wheat germ

Click HERE for the nutritional value of Wheat Germ.  This stuff is good for you!

* Purchase a bag of ground flaxseed.  You can add flaxseed to many foods.  My favorite way to use ground flaxseed is in pancakes.  I load the pancakes with seeds and my kids love them.  I also hide ground flax seeds in my chocolate chip cookies.  Again it’s about being slightly creative and adding fiber to things you normally enjoy.  You can throw a few tablespoons into a muffin mix and add lots of nutritional value.  I’ve even added ground flaxseed to my pizza dough.

flaxseed

For flaxseed’s nutritional information, click HERE.

* Snack on sunflower seeds.  They taste great and are nutritionally wonderful.  A tiny sunflower seed has tons of fiber.  Check out their nutritional information HERE.

* Change to whole wheat pasta.  You can start slowly by mixing your pasta 50/50 until you develop a taste for the wheat pasta.

*  Use brown rice instead of white rice.  The only drawback is that brown rice takes a long time to cook, about 45 minutes.

I haven’t mentioned fruits, vegetables, and salads because they are obvious.  I’ve tried to focus on the foods that are less obvious.

If you hate all these ideas and are unwilling to try natural forms of fiber, there are always those awful thick drinks.  I’ve got one word for them, YUCK.

Wait, one more word, GAG.

I hope your day flows smoothly.

Anytime you’d like to spend a holiday meal with my family, just let me know.  I serve antacids for dessert.

I’M UPDATING THIS POST TO PLAY ALONG WITH “MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY”.

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28 thoughts on “Life After Hemorrhoids

  1. Pingback: Search and You Shall Find « the domestic fringe

  2. Pingback: Latest hemorrhoids news - Thrombosis Hemorrhoids - Know | Hemorrhoids - How I Cured My Hemorrhoids

  3. momstheword

    Very funny post! Love to have dinner with you, sometime!

    Thank you for the fiber suggestions. My mom has diverticulitis and has been told to eat more fiber.

    I will pass on your idea to her.

    Thank you for joining us today at MYHSM!

    Reply
  4. JanMary, N Ireland

    All good to know!

    We have Uncle Bens Brown Rice and Wholegrain rice which can cook in 10 mins.

    I go for the wholewheat pasta too.

    Need to look out some wheat germ and flax seed but I am postitive it does not come in a honey crunch version in Ireland.

    Reply
  5. David

    Merryheart is right on about the antacids! Long-term use can actually cause you to have more frequent heartburn. I know a guy who has messed up his digestion with antacids to the point where he is taking literally dozens of antacids everyday of his life. When we worked together, I would watch him take a handful after every meal. Very, very bad!

    There’s a “flap” that’s supposed to close off and keep the food and stomach acid from backing up. (Sorry for the un-scientific term, but I don’t want to take the time to look up the correct word.) But the thing that triggers this “flap” to close is acid. So when you have heartburn, it’s a sign of not having produced enough stomach acid to cause the “flap” to seal properly. So let’s say you take antacids. While it may make the stomach acid temporarily less painful, it makes you even more prone to reflux and makes it even harder to digest food. This is a very backward approach to gain relief.

    Some people take the exact opposite approach for heartburn. Instead of antacid, they take a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar diluted in water. This makes the stomach contents MORE acidic, which in turn triggers the “flap” to seal tightly, stopping the heartburn. I’m not necessarily recommending this and have never tried it myself. But it would seem to me a much more logical approach than taking an antacid.

    One reason for heartburn is not chewing your food thoroughly enough. People often wolf down their food too fast and give themselves heartburn. The chewing process is part of what triggers your stomach to make acid. When the food arrives, there needs to be acid already present and ready to go to work. If not, you’re more likely to get heartburn.

    Reply
    1. Mom

      David—the vinegar does help. Ever why the Europeans eat their salads last? The vinegar in the dressing helps the digestion thus avoiding heartburn!
      A teaspoon of vinegar anyone?

      Reply
  6. robinaltman

    Great post! That fish looks awesome! I’m going to try it next week. Do you dip it in egg or something first? Just wondering. . .

    I just realized something. I had a ginormous hemmorhoid, but it hasn’t been bothering me since I changed my diet and added fiber. I never put two and two together! Wow! (Do you think anyone will sneak into my house and remove my med school diploma?)

    Reply
  7. Pam

    I am a total fiber-natic but never thought to bread fish with wheat germ. Thanks for the great tip! I kinda watch the flaxseed cause it is high fat and cals and I am a too many cal eating gal as it is!

    Reply
  8. Merryheart

    Fiber, yesss! Flax seed is wonderful! Watch out for antacids–they inhibit absorption of calcium. So does sugar. Serve HCl instead! Seriously, more people have problems from too little acid in their stomachs than too much. If it backs up, it’s because there wasn’t enough acid to digest the food.

    Reply
  9. Erin

    I’m feeling very sorry for myself right now. I’m plagued and yet I’m lazy and don’t want to change. I’m screwed. Set me up at the table with them old folks!

    Reply
  10. Soliloquy

    There’s not much a little fiber can’t fix. It’s just finding yummy ways to get it in, right?

    Gotta’ try that wheat germ chicken…. looks greasy enough to be yummy!

    I have a great recipe for bran muffins that you MICROWAVE. Store the batter in your frig and whip up a muffin in 40 seconds.

    They’re so yummy, that even with the sweet tooth that has gotten me into so much digestive trouble – I cut the amount of sugar the recipe calls for.

    Email me if you want the recipe. I’d be happy to share!

    soliloquy@comcast.net

    Reply
  11. Sarah@Life in the Parsonage

    I love this title. 🙂

    PS – will you email me your address (because I totally didn’t save it from before) (lifeintheparsonage@gmail.com ) We finished the Bible Study on Tuesday…AWESOME! I’ll send you back the DVD’s that you so wonderously and graciously sent me 🙂 Thank you!

    Reply
  12. Hat Chick

    Did you know there is an “official” Ronald McDonald? Big Daddy’s company tried to hire him for a charity event. He demands a limo and lots of money for appearances. Guess it’s good to be a trademarked clown.

    Reply
  13. Pingback: Life After Hemorrhoids « the domestic fringe

  14. TCKK

    Okay this is just way to funny!!! Actually it sounds like you’ve been to our dinners!! lol Also, some really good info. I’ll have to try some of them. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  15. David

    I love this humorous public service announcement! Seriously good information. I want to take care of myself and live a long time, so this is all good stuff to know. I used to add wheat germ to yogurt, but flaxseed I know nothing about. And your nutritional link didn’t take me there. I probably could have dug around and found it, but all this constipation has left me listless. Hey, you know what else is good for you? A nap.

    Reply
  16. Cher

    I think we now know everything about FringeMan except the age-old question – boxers or briefs. And even David gave the answer to that one recently!

    Speaking of FringeMan, we haven’t seen him writing on this blog lately.

    The Texas Woman

    Reply
  17. Debbie York

    Um, whatcha got on the shelf for constipation of the brain and diarrhea of the mouth?
    Dr. Oz should get with you on presentation of healthy tips!
    Debbie

    Reply

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