The financial powers that be, whomever they may be, have announced that there is a green-backed light at the end of the tunnel.
Recession Ends By Year End
Since they proclaimed it, we believe it despite the fact that 8.6% of people are currently unemployed in the United States.
I guess they won’t find themselves doing any of the things on my “I’m so poor, I…” list, but I’ll share my list with you just incase the recession stretches a little longer than expected.
I’m so poor, I….
1. rinse my cotton balls and hang them out to dry after removing my makeup.
2. beg my daughter to bring home her paper lunch bag so I can reuse it. After she tells me it’s against the rules, I send a note to her environmentally friendly teacher telling her I’m starting a new recycling project and I NEED THAT PAPER BAG!
3. use one scoop of iced-tea mix for every two quarts of water, making a drink that looks like I caught rain water from my rusty gutter.
4. make every member of my family share one paper towel at dinner.
5. get excited when churches have pot-lucks. I eat out of their pot and use my luck to hope nobody notices that I came empty handed and walked out with the leftovers.
6. borrow a tank of gas from my neighbor’s lawnmower.
7. convince my children that every kid only gets one Skittle per serving.
8. ask the produce man if a bunch of grapes can be broken up into smaller quantities.
9. get 4 slices of ham at the deli counter, one for each sandwich.
10. pay my taxes with rolls of pennies.
11. fashion new school shoes out of duck-tape.
12. go to Burger King to watch cable TV.
13. go to Barnes & Noble to read books and mark the page so I can finish the next day.
14. discover 143 ways to make Ramen noodles.
15. water down skim milk.
16. think going ‘out to eat’ includes the warehouse store’s sample table.
17. use public restrooms in order to save money on toilet paper.
18. go to the mall just to look for dropped change.
19. think the Salvation Army Thrift store is expensive.
You fill in number 20. Go ahead!