All it took was fifteen minutes of Santa Claus coming to town one silent night and my children were begging me to put up the Christmas tree. I took out the same ugly tree as we used last year only to find that it’s still skinnier than my behind. Disappointed that my plastic tree hadn’t grown over the past year, I opened it like an umbrella, except in reverse, and sat it in a bucket on a bench in front of the window. I considered standing it on telephone books to add height, but I could think of no way to add width, so I decided to deal with the fact that my holiday decor won’t be featured in Country Living, Southern Living, or Hobo Living.
My daughter gushed over the memories each ornament triggered and my son strung lights and beads so quickly that my mind was left spinning . I fear I will have little say in Christmas decorating until my children leave for college…assuming my trickery works and they actually leave at eighteen.
It took approximately eight minutes to have a completely decorated micro-tree and only a handful of bulbs were broken in the process. No one was bleeding and I considered this holiday season to be victorious thus far.
When I finally stood back and looked at the finished product, I could do nothing but laugh. I’m not certain anyone other than the legally blind can gaze at my tree and not burst into riotous laughter. To think that it stands on display for the neighborhood and every passerbyer (I made up that word) to see makes me shutter in a mixture of shame and amusement.
It looks remarkably like….
Two Thousand Nine will be known as the year we celebrated in the light of our Phyllis Diller Tree.
See for yourself.
Have you started your decorating yet?
Visit the Hooked On Houses tour!
Christmas Tour of Homes at the Nesting Place.