For the love of all things Holly & Jolly…

S.O.S.

I need your help in a hurry!  My reputation as the chef of impending doom depends upon you.  My town is hosting a cookie baking contest and I must enter.  How can I not?

It would not only be un-supportive if I didn’t bake a batch of cookies, but it would almost be un-patriotic; however, cookies are not my specialty.  Shopping in bakeries is my specialty.  I’ve been known to serve blackened cookies, heavy on the baking soda and light on flavor.

All my cookies aren’t bad.  Some of them are descent, good enough for my kids, a church picnic, or a midnight snack, but we are talking about becoming the cookie queen of Nowhere, New York.  I want to be crowned queen!

You are some of the best cooks and bakers out there.  I’ve seen your pictures.  I trust you.

PU-LEEEE-SE send me your favorite cookie recipe at your earliest possible convenience.

But, I need it by Monday. 🙂

…please.

This recipe you send me can’t be all that complicated.  I don’t roll dough well and I have problems converting measurement.  I’m a shoo-in!    It’s no secret that math is not one of my better subjects.  I realized that I would never be Albert Einstein when my high school math teacher told me to take the easiest math elective offered in college.  There’s nothing like a vote of confidence laced with truth.

I waited to take that math elective until the summer between my junior and senior years in college.  I came home and took college Algebra at my local community college and I squeaked by with an A+.

HA!

Thank you for your applause.  I feel better getting that out of my system.

Just don’t ever ask me to help your kids with their homework.  My daughter still uses both her fingers and toes and sometimes mine, a perfectly acceptable alternative to the calculator.

Now back to baking…

I have the feeling these women in my town have at least 150 years more cookie baking experience than I, so I won’t hide the fact that I’m a little nervous.  My chances of winning are almost as good as my chances of Santa bringing me a new kitchen floor.

You will receive full credit if  I win, but all the stars will need to align in order for that to happen.

I’ll wear my lucky socks and pray for mercy, grace, and pity.

Thank you.

Oh, one more thing.

For the love of all things Holly & Jolly, why did Shakira wear that ugly black outfit in Rockefeller Center Wednesday night when she sang Santa Baby?

Her jacket looked like a throwback to the 80’s.  She even had the sprayed hair shellacked to one side.  What she needed was floor length sequenced gown and a hairdo like this…

But nobody consults FringeGirl before airing the lighting of tree in Rockefeller Center.

Imagine that!

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17 thoughts on “For the love of all things Holly & Jolly…

  1. robinaltman

    Is it wrong to print out this page of your blog, and wish you luck with all my heart? I hope not. I’d put a bag of double stuff oreos in the oven to warm them a bit.

    Reply
  2. Janna Qualman

    I have a very easy sugar drop cookie recipe, and you can tweak it to specialize it, too. I know sugar cookies aren’t all that exciting, so I won’t post it here. If you’re interested, e-mail me. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Marianne

    This is the easiest and most popular cookie I make, everyone askes for the recipe!!
    From my Grandmothers recipe collection:

    “Heavenly Cookies”
    2 16 oz pkg. chocolate chips
    1/2 c. peanut butter
    5 c. corn flakes
    Melt chocolate chips, in a large bowl over a pot of hot water, mix in peanut butter and fold in corn flakes until well coated, drop from spoon on waxed paper and chill until set.
    For a pretty addition, before you refrigerate you can shake on some festive sprinkles!

    Reply
  4. Gabriela

    Cherry Winks

    3/4 cup shortening
    1 cup white sugar
    2 eggs
    2 tablespoons milk
    1 teaspoon vanilla extract
    2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
    1 teaspoon baking powder
    1/2 teaspoon baking powder
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1 cup chopped pecans
    1 cup dates, pitted and chopped
    1/3 cup maraschino cherries, chopped
    2 1/2 cups crushed corn flakes cereal
    10 maraschino cherries, quartered

    Preheat over to 375 degrees F. Lightly grease baking sheets.

    Cream the shortening with the sugar. Blend in the eggs, milk, and vanilla.

    Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the flour mixture to the creamed mixture, and stir well. Add the chopped pecans, chopped dates, and 1/3 cup maraschino cherries.

    Shape teaspoonful-sized chunks of dough into balls. Roll each ball in the crushed corn flakes. Place balls on the prepared baking sheets, and top each cookie with 1/4 maraschino cherry.

    Bake in preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes. Cool on a wire rack, and store in airtight container.

    Reply
  5. Deb

    I actually have 2 blogs..the other one is http://www.wiseoldowl-deb.blogspot.com. But…that’s not what this is all about. I’m hoping these can be considered “cookies”. They are AMAZING…simple to make….and soooo good!!! Hope you win!!

    Mini Pecan Tarts

    1 (3 oz.) cream cheese
    1/2 C. soft butter
    1 C. flour

    Mix together and shape into 24 small balls, chill.

    FILLING:
    1 egg
    3/4 C. brown sugar
    1 tbsp. butter
    Salt
    2/3 C. chopped pecans
    Vanilla flavoring

    Place small balls in mini muffin pans. Press in middle of ball to make mini crust. Pour filling in each cup and bake 25 minutes at 325 degrees.

    Hope you have some left to enter into the contest!!! HA!HA!

    Reply
  6. Jill

    Here’s the Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe I posted a few weeks ago. I’m impressed that you’re aiming for first place. My skills usually make me aim for anything but last. Good luck!

    You will need:
    2 cups butter
    4 cups flour
    2 tsp baking soda
    2 cups sugar
    5 cups blended oatmeal
    24 oz chocolate chips
    2 cups brown sugar
    1 tsp salt
    1 eight oz Hershey bar (grated)
    4 eggs
    2 tsp baking powder
    2 tsp vanilla

    Measure oatmeal and blend in blender to a fine powder. Cream butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder and soda. Add chocolate chips and Hershey bar. Roll into balls and place 2 inches apart on cookie sheet. Bake 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes about 112 cookies.

    Enjoy!

    Reply
  7. caprik

    Miss Kris’ Shortbread

    1 lb. butter
    1c. sugar
    4c. flour

    Cream butter til fluffy. Add sugar and cream again until fluffy. Gradually add flour until dough is soft and smooth. Pat dough into a 10×15 baking pan (I used a jelly roll pan). Bake in pre-heated 300 degree oven for 1 hour until golden.
    Remove from oven and cut into small squares. Sprinkle with granulated sugar. Let cool in pan and store in airtight container.

    Seems too simple, but SO yummy!
    Absolutely fool proof (unless you forget about it and BURN it!) DELICIOUS and who doesn’t love a good shortbread? Miss Kris gives me some every Christmas and my Family can’t wait! I made quite a bit last year. Never had much return home with me.

    Reply
  8. Debbie York

    By Monday, huh? I’ll see if I can get my DIL’s thumbprint cookie recipe for you. They are better than any bakery…I ask for them as a Christmas present…they are that good! ‘Course if you’d wear that sequined gown and pull your hair over one eye ala Veronica Lake…I’d think you might have a shot at winning with the blackened cookies. Try calling them Cajun Style Cookies…works for catfish!
    Debbie

    Reply
  9. Michelle N

    This is my favorite cookie recipe and it’s so easy to make!!

    Snickerdoodles
    Ingredients
    1/2 cup soften butter
    1/2 cup oil
    1 1/2 cup sugar
    2 eggs
    2 tsp vanilla
    2 3/4 cup flour
    2 tsp. cream of tartar
    1 tsp. baking soda
    1/4 tsp. salt
    plus 2 tablespoons of sugar and cinnamon

    Directions
    1. Pre heat oven to 400 degrees.
    2. Combine dry ingredients and set to the side.
    3. In a separate bowl cream the butter, oil, sugar, eggs and vanilla until well combined.
    4. Blend in the dry ingredients.
    5. Refrigerate batter for about 15-20 minutes.
    ~~This step can be skipped I find it a little easier to form balls once the dough was been chilled~~
    6. Shape heaping tablespoons of dough into balls. Roll balls of dough in mixture cinnamon and sugar mixture.
    7. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets.
    8. Bake 8-10 minutes.

    Reply
  10. Cathy

    So I’m no help at all. Unless you want terrific chocolate chip cookies. For that I use the recipe on the back of the N*stl*s Semi Sweet Chocolate Chips and add just a bit more brown sugar and white sugar to the mix.

    Reply
  11. red.neck Chic

    Okay – YAY! Lovin’ the hair-do!!!

    Now, I don’t have a recipe to offer up. LOLOL Seriously! You know your blackened cookies? I’d eat ’em with you ’cause I would TOTALLY understand how you got them just….that….perfect. heehee!!!

    BUT!!!!!! I have my fingers, toes, knees and eyeballs crossed that you will win!!! Oh, and I’m sending my Mom your direction – armed with one of her “fringe-girl appropriate” recipes. (She’s the one I call when a bakery just won’t do…)

    Have a great one!!! 😉
    Robelyn

    Reply
  12. Jenn

    Dried Cherry and Almond Cookies with Vanilla Icing

    Ingredients
    Cookies:
    1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature
    1/2 cup, plus 2 tablespoons sugar
    1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
    1/2 teaspoon pure almond extract
    1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
    1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
    1 large egg
    1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
    3/4 cup coarsely chopped dried tart cherries (see Cook’s Note)
    1/2 cup slivered, blanched almonds, toasted and coarsely chopped (see Cook’s Note)

    Icing:
    2 3/4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
    2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
    3 tablespoons water, plus extra, as needed
    Directions
    For the Cookies:

    In a large bowl, with an electric mixer, beat the butter, sugar, vanilla extract, almond extract, cinnamon, and salt until light and fluffy, about 2 minutes, then beat in the egg. Add the flour and beat on the lowest speed until just blended. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the dried cherries and almonds.

    Transfer the dough to a sheet of plastic wrap and shape it into a log, about 12-inches long and 1 1/2-inches in diameter. Wrap the dough in the plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least 2 hours. (Dough can be made up to 3 days in advance).

    Arrange an oven rack in the center of the oven. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Line 2 heavy baking sheets with parchment paper.

    Cut the log crosswise into 1/2-inch thick slices. Transfer the dough slices to the prepared baking sheets, spacing them about 1-inch apart. Bake until the cookies are golden around the edges and puffed, about 15 minutes. Transfer the cookies to a wire rack to cool completely before icing, about 30 minutes.

    For the Icing:

    Put the powdered sugar in a medium bowl. Gradually whisk in the vanilla extract and water, adding more water, 1 teaspoon at a time, until the mixture becomes a drizzling consistency. (Makes about 2/3 cups icing, enough to ice both variations.)

    Put the cooled cookies on a wire rack set over a baking sheet. Using a spoon or a fork, drizzle the cookies with the icing, allowing any excess icing to drip onto the baking sheet. Allow the icing to set before serving, about 1 hour.

    Try these on for size!!

    Reply

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