Missing Birthdays

I think I’ve mentioned that I’m not good with dates.  I’m also not good with spelling, or math, or keeping track of all the one million papers that come home from school, or getting my Christmas shopping done before Christmas Eve, or…

You get the point.

There are plenty of things that I’m not good at, but I prefer to ignore those things and live in the bliss ignorance supplies; however, every so often, my shortcomings work against me.  I’ve come close to forgetting my own anniversary and once, I did have to check with FringeMan to confirm the year we were married, but I’ve never forgotten my own birthday.

How could I?

It would be an injustice to my mother and the ten months of labor she insists she endured.

In order to balance out my deficiencies, I married FringeMan.  He remembers all dates, is good at math, and can spell better than a fifth grader.  Unfortunately, our marriage only works if he reminds me of important dates and last month, he didn’t.  I missed my cousin’s birthday.  Imagine my surprise when I realized my memory lapse.  At the same moment, I learned that FringeMan had sent her a birthday message via facebook.


He didn’t remind me!  A husband’s failure of this magnitude is difficult to forgive.  He claims that he was sure I remembered, but do I remember anything?


Providing that she’s now old enough to be experiencing a loss of eyesight, I will now attempt to redeem myself in her eyes.

Although this photo is from back in the ice-ages, prior to digital cameras, it shows off our bad hair and my mother’s ‘lovely’ (cough, cough) peach walls.

Jenn & FringeGirl

Oddly enough, I look back on that minty-green, oversized shirt and those sneakers with fondness.  I must have been around fourteen, I guess, but Jenn is much older and wiser.  Her hair was infinitely better than mine and I solely blame my father for my bad hair.  By some evil act of misfortune, my hairdresser was Portuguese and my father would take me for my haircuts.  He always told her in Portuguese to make sure she cut a lot so he’d get his money’s worth.  It was THE ugliest cut in all of recent history…

the Mul… sorry, I just can’t bring myself to say it.

Years later, while in college, we decided to update our photo, but switched sides just to confuse everyone.

FringeGirl & Jenn

Collectively we used 48 cans of hairspray to do our hair.

I think it’s high time for a new ‘couch’ picture.  We are now older, wiser, and much sexier. 😉


P.S.  Many of you were concerned over my smoke alarm incident yesterday and I thank you for your comments and emails.  I’m happy to say that all is ok on the fringe.  We had a little problem with our chimney and 60 mile an hour winds, but we fixed the chimney and our wood stove is once again burning warm.  My entire house did fill with smoke and we were moments away from having the fire department invade our home with hoses drawn, but we managed to escape without causing too much of an early morning scene in our neighborhood.  After all, we do try and live low-key, anonymous lives. 😉

That’s two smiley faces and a P.S. in one post.  Let me go before I start doodling Christmas trees and stars.


19 thoughts on “Missing Birthdays

  1. Jenn

    This is cracking me up so much!!! Picture #1, I still have that sweater, 22 years later!! Now, that’s what you would call quality!!!!

  2. Mindy

    Sooo, by wishing her a happy birthday today, I’m probably the most belated in my wishes. Happy Birthday, Jenn! The celebration continues.

    ps. FringeMan failed you. For sure.

    Love the pictures! ~Mindy

  3. robinaltman

    Happy Birthday, Jenn! You guys both look adorable.

    I have curly hair, and at that age I used to blow dry it straight for a zillion hours, and then cross my fingers for no humidity. Lucky I’m from Boston.

  4. David

    In true male form, I was going to suggest that you use Microsoft Outlook to remind you of birthdays. But now I realize that’s missing the point completely. (I do that a lot but my intentions are good.) Anyway, Happy Birthday, Jenn.

  5. Debbie York

    First in your mom’s defense…according to OB/GYNs a pregnancy is now considered full term at 10 months…anything else is premature…as if!
    Yeah, I had a 9 lb. 3 oz. premature baby with the oldest melon head…right!
    Good ol’ aqua net…what would the 80’s and 90’s have been like without it!
    Tell Jenn to spray y’all both down with WD-40 and let’s see an update!
    FYI…the memory is the first thing to go…just so ya know!

  6. Jenn

    Nice post!!! You are too funny. No matter what my eyesight is or may be (I still have my yearly eye appointment to make), be rest-assured my dear FringeGirl Cuz, you never have to redeem yourself to me. Picture #1, you were more like 12 and started early with the Mul— (that was my 16-year-old hairdo and mom used to crack up because I could identify what year pictures were taken by my hair style) and I think I still have that sweater. Yes, and it was that same Portuguese hairstylist that turned me into a French poodle instead a simple bodywave. You were living in Maine at the time and I came for a visit. At the time, I think my hair ended up being curlier that yours.

    Domestic Fringe Followers – DON’T LISTEN TO HER – FringeGirl has GREAT HAIR!!!!!! While using the 48 cans of hairspray, HER HAIR STAYED IN PLACE!!!

    So, thank you for the birthday wishes, and YES!! We definitely have to update the “couch picture”. It’s time, way overdue. I think I can still manage to lift my legs over the armrest, although it might be difficult for me in my ancient-ness. I try to make sure my mummy-wrappings do not unravel and bring WD-40 for the creaking sounds.


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