I think I’ve only done a post once before where I shared specific terms that were entered into a search engine only to end up on the domestic fringe. Honestly I usually don’t bother looking to see what people searched to find me. Often I’d rather not know, but I must have been unusually bored or desperate for a post, because I looked. Here are the funny ones from the past three days. They are highlighted in blue and are exactly how I got them.
watching my neighbors wife – Let it be know that I do NOT condone such behavior. I only write about watching my neighbor’s husband.
Unfortunately, I did say that I spied on my neighbors once HERE. Don’t worry, I’ve given it up for the New Year.
fat girl sledding pics – I know this is a reference to a picture of me in several layers of clothing and a funny hat; however, I don’t think I look fat enough in this picture to justify a search landing on me. Let it be know, I’ve got plenty of better ‘fat’ pictures for the taking. Is THIS the best Google could do?
pasta hemorrhoids – Yes, I’ve talked about hemorrhoids, specifically FringeMan’s, but I never said he got them from eating pasta. If you’d like to read my hemorrhoids post, and I mean, who wouldn’t, unless of course you have something important to do like clip your toe nails…Click HERE.
hairy legs massage – Maybe it’s because I admitted to having a hairy leg party once, but I can assure you there were no massages involved. I wouldn’t even know where to begin, but I think it would be with conditioner.
beach curlers – My mother-in-law’s not gonna like this one. The only time I’ve ever mentioned curlers was when I introduced to you to FringeMan’s mom. Wanna meet her? Click HERE.
was fringe on december 17th? – It absolutely must have been and it shall be from this day forward. Mark your calendars!
granny with no teeth – Sorry, but my granny always had teeth. Sometimes she lost them, but they were always somewhere to be found. I was in K-Mart just this morning looking at all their junk and thinking about how much my grandmother loved to buy cheap clothes that never fit her and I missed her, right there in the middle of a poor man’s shopping crowd at Christmas.
spandex knee sock feel the feeling – For the final time, I do not wear knee socks. If I did, I would have no feeling in my legs, because all circulation would be lost. My ‘muscly’ legs do not fit in confining knee socks that are meant for stick figures. I wore them once and had fat overhang. It wasn’t pretty. If you have a sickly morbid case of curiosity and must see proof, click HERE.
what hat to wear when you have a mohawk – I didn’t wear a hat when I had my mohawk, but I imagine it could get tricky. My best suggestion would be to try earmuffs with the band placed under your chin. Or you can just wear a large glove on your head with lots of fingers.
what is butt dust – That’s what you get when you don’t get off your lazy bum! My television gets it too. Really, I haven’t got a clue. Is there a doctor around? I know about butt roots, but butt dust leaves me perplexed.
extreme mating – This gets searched DAILY. In some deviant way, I feel as though I should be flattered; however, I usually leave my mating rituals out of my updates. After all, my mother does read.
slave collar – If you find someone who wants to be my slave, send them right over. I’ve had no luck, but maybe it’s because I don’t have one of these collars. I even birthed two children in hopes that at least one of them would act as my slave, but my best efforts have left me wanting.
lucy in the Bible – I love Lucy too and her reputation is almost of Biblical proportion, but she is not in the Bible. At least not that I’ve read. Do correct me if I’m wrong. There are literally hundreds of poor souls out there searching for her in Leviticus, Luke, and Lamentations. I’m glad it isn’t only my daughter who thought she was in the Bible. You can read about that mistake HERE.
If you are new to the domestic fringe or if you’re bored and have nothing better to do, there are plenty of links to keep you busy for a few days.