Itchiness, Weight-Loss, & a Recipe

I have exercised every day for the last ten years of my life or right before the onset of the new year.  At any rate it’s been about a week and some of those days, I actually set my flab in motion twice.

In. The. Same Day.

I’ve also seriously cut down on my portions of food and have attempted to make healthy choices, excluding the brownie I ate last night.  So I’ve been feeling pretty good about myself, until I made the mistake of stepping on the scale.  I want results yesterday.  Maybe I’m just a product of the microwave generation, or perhaps it is because I grew-up in a fast paced society.  All I know is that when I decide to do something, I really want immediate gratification.  I’m childish that way.

It’s because of my impatience that I woke up this morning telling myself that the dieting and exercise is better left to Richard Simmons and Denis Austin.  (Notice that I can only get outdated videos at my library?)   The strangest thing happened to me around nine this morning.  The desire to move my body overwhelmed me, and I don’t just mean moving from the couch to the coffee pot.  I actually wanted to exercise.

Pigs flew and a new miracle was recorded.

After about forty minutes of uncoördinated movement, I ran upstairs to grab clean clothes and glanced to my jeans in dismay.  It’s not that they don’t fit, it’s just that they squeeze me like you squeeze a roll of Charmin and when that happens, fat tends to get pushed into odd places.  Now they’re nowhere’s near as bad as a pair of control-top pantyhose, but I dread washing them just the same.  At any rate, they were my only reasonable clothing choice for the day because I tore a gaping hole in the backside of my ‘fat’ pants.  It was a most unfortunate accident.

I’ve learned that on ‘fat’ days, you just don’t feel fabulous.  Now I can spiritualized matters and remind myself that I am a child of the almighty God, created in His image, and given the greatest love gift anyone could receive.  I could think about how much my family loves me.  I could look into FringePup’s eyes and know that with every wag of the tail, she’s sending me her love.

But it’s not enough, because my Levi 501 Blues don’t love me.

When I slip on my jeans, I want the birds to begin singing Ooh, la la, Sasson.

I want FringePup’s tail to beat to the rhythm of Ooh, la la, Sasson.

And I want FringeMan’s fingers to go into a guitar solo of Ooh, la la, Sasson.

[Insert 80’s video HERE]

So I resorted to doing what every self-loving, slightly insane woman does, I played mind tricks.  Yes, with myself.  I know you do this too, so quit thinking I’m two recommendations away from the psych ward.  Self-image is really more about your mind than it is about your butt.  I simply assured myself that my hard work would pay off.  After all, I am already seeing results.  My fingers are becoming slim-lined digits and I’m itching.  Now you may have never looked at itching in a positive light, but I’m here to tell that itching is sure sign your skin is tightening and your fat is fleeing.  Maybe you can’t read that in the American Medical Association Journal, but I’m convinced of it.  I’ve completely disregarded that we heat primarily with wood, thus causing incredibly dry skin.  I did put a pot of water on the stove, so the only other reasonable explanation is shrinkage.

You know what?  I felt great about myself after that, but I’ve never known anyone to wish for an itchy bottom as much as me.

By mid-afternoon, I was on top of the world.  Then the postman came and brought me ….

the Pioneer Woman’s new cookbook!

I couldn’t have been more excited.  The other day when I was looking through magazines in the bookstore, I actually talked a woman into buying this book.  It’s not that I think Ree really needs me to make sales for her, but I would consider becoming her personal publicist in trade for a side of beef or two.

And that’s how my life goes.  Just when I’m itching up a storm, I get the most fabulously fattening cookbook around.

My mom sent me this book.  She loves me.  Thank you mom!

Can’t wait to make something, but in the meantime, I’ll leave you with my brownies.

Here’s a recipe that will satisfy nearly every mortal craving you have. Click HERE.

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20 thoughts on “Itchiness, Weight-Loss, & a Recipe

  1. Pingback: I’ll beg if I need to. « the domestic fringe

  2. kadja2

    Holy crap! I’ve been spending money on doctors who can’t tell me squat but I have lost 30 lbs in 40 days working out, laid off for a bit and lost another pant size anyway because I am eating healthy! I’m glad to know that this is a sign of it now! Bye bye doctor! When I take benedryl it’s not bad! Thank you so much for sharing this because I’ve been going absolutely crazy!

    Reply
  3. top exercise videos

    Nice way of putting it.I found out about your post from Google and enjoyed reading it. Have you been writing this blog for a while?Just the other day I recently created a blog myself and its been a fascinating process. I’ve met some great people since then but it can be a real chore at times! Oh well, much appreciated for your blog post!

    Reply
  4. Rachel

    I never knew that about the itching. I always thought itching was a sign that my skin was stretching because I was getting fatter.

    I like your explanation better!

    Reply
  5. robinaltman

    I’m so happy about the itching fact! I’m itchy! I’m really itchy! I’m going to go try on some skinny jeans.

    Reply
  6. Debbie York

    I can just feel the pounds dissolving as I scratch off all this dead skin! What does dry skin cells weigh btw…at least a pound each, right?
    Exercise for me is walking to the computer…everything jiggles so much, it’s an exercise in futility!
    Debbie

    Reply
  7. Pam

    Yes I have to agree the best time of exercise is when you are finished. I always get itchy in the winter. Gee I hope that means I am getting thinner by the scratch.

    Reply
  8. Lois Lane II

    It’s amazing how great you feel after exercising, isn’t it? =D Before and during, I pretty much hate it, but near the end, I’m like, “Woo hoo! I did THIS!!”

    And I understand the skin itching. Mine’s usually around my thunder thighs.

    I feel you with the pants. I had that problem with spanx back in March. Yeah, it definitely made my waist smaller…at the expense of some back fat. Faaaabbbuuullllooouuusss.

    Reply
  9. Mama Belle

    Don’t you know the main rule in dieting and exercise? Never step on a scale. At least, I think that’s what it is. I don’t weigh myself. It will have an adverse affect by depressing me and making me want to eat more. Stupid, I know.

    I need that cookbook. Guess I’ll have to go order it too.

    Reply
  10. Jenn

    This could be a really good thing because my legs are ITCY!!!!!!!!!!!! I like how you think!!!
    I bought Pioneer Woman’s recipe book too!!!! I am debating on what to try first (besides the cinnamon rolls which were a HUGE hit), and I absolutely love how she made the book with the pictures of the steps of the recipes and the cute stories about the ranch and her family.

    Reply
  11. David

    Ahhh, the brownie recipe. I saw that on your facebook and went to print it, but my printer gave a low ink warning. So I took it as a sign and went to work out instead. Thanks for that. Maybe I’ll start itching soon!

    I got my mom a Wii game and a Wii Fit for Christmas. Are you familiar with Wii Fit? She says she starts playing and it’s so much fun she doesn’t realize she’s excercising until she’s sore the next day. That sounds pretty good because everytime I exercise I’m VERY much aware of it.

    Reply
  12. Anita

    Hey! I thought it was only MY butt that got all itchy on the treadmill. If I get working it enough, I have to scratch like a crazed woman- hmmm…guess I should get BACK on the treadmill instead of getting off. Thanks for the inspiration.

    Reply
  13. Jill

    I never knew itching was a sign of weightloss. I guess I have to look for that one in the future.

    By the way, I gave you an award on my blog because you brighten my day!

    Reply

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