My dog is many things.
She is a pain in my rear – BIG pain.
She is a food thief.
She is a laundry lifter.
She is a mailman hater.
She is a butt sniffing, shoe biting, smelly beast.
She is a climb up into your lap and throw her arms around your neck for a kiss kind of dog.
But the thing that really bothers me…
The thing that requires intervention…
The thing that makes me scratch my head in wonder…
The thing I’m most ashamed to admit…
My dog is a HOARDER.
I didn’t think you would believe me, so I attempted to photograph her kennel, the ‘box’ as we call it; however, shame overwhelmed me. I’d rather show you a picture of my son’s room on a bad day in the dark month of May. I’d rather show you an up close and personal photograph of the backseat of my car in all it’s crushed cracker, mud laden, snow drifted glory. I’m sad to think I’ve allowed a member of my family to get so out of control, become so compulsive, live in such disarray, but I’m obviously a mommy failure of pet proportions.
At this moment Oriana, the hoarder, has the remains of a full roll of toilet paper, a package of once unused coffee filters, a knit winter cap, two logs, one glove, and an assortment of unidentifiable objects that I presume are garbage. Oh, let us not forget the scarf that I wove on the loom that I made. That’s in there too, but it is dead.
My Dog Is A Hoarder will air Tuesday’s at 9 p.m. on NBC, Eastern Standard Time.
See you then.
– The Enabler formerly known as FringeGirl
By the way, if any of you experience a moment of dim wit and decide to get a dog, please read ‘Family Planning & Adoption‘ FIRST.