Randomly Lame Life

FringePup suffers from multiple personality disorder.  In this photo, I’ve captured her “Queen of the Arctic” persona, but just this morning she morphed into “Psychotic Biting Puppy”.  I shan’t divulge which personality explodes from her clenched jaw and fiery red pinhole eyes when the mailman approaches our porch; however, I may have seen droplets of blood fall from her teeth just yesterday.  Stephen King may want FringePup to appear in his next book gone HollyWood.

In other news, FringeKid now reads books in Spanish.  I thought she should master English first, but there’s nothing wrong with being mediocre in more than one language, as seen daily in New York.  She also informed me that our stove is a boy and our microwave is a girl.  They are both available, so please pass that information along to your appliances.  Photos provided upon request.  If my stove and microwave were to hook-up, I may just get a toaster oven out of the deal.

In the past two days, I discovered that I cannot bake ready-made Pillsbury cookies.  You know the kind – they house little colored photos for each holiday and come in a cute box complete with knock-knock jokes on the back.  I’m now leaving the cooking part to the kids and sticking to telling jokes.  I have also become so pale that FringeMan inquired of my health.  I will be spending my children’s winter recess under a 60 watt bulb and calling it vacation.

Thankfully I have redeemed my week by doing one semi-creative and productive task.  I made a scarf, actually two.  Before you begin to laugh, I did not use a loom this time, so my scarf looks more crappy scrappy and less like pot-holder.  Apparently even FringePup associated the last pot-holder scarf with food, because she ate it.

I had FringeMan snap a photo of me wearing my scarf last night.  The children were already asleep, so I couldn’t convince them to model my wares and FringeMan flat-out refused.  There are limits to his love.  I nearly decided not to show this photo, because any drop of make-up that I failed to apply earlier in the day was worn away.  I also hate my hair that I had re-cut by a stylist and I’m wearing a tent sweater.  Did I mention the double chin was visible last night?  My chins are similar to the phases of the moon and last night was a full moon; however, I have read that self-humiliation is good for the soul (your soul), so here you have it.

Try and focus on the scarf.  The fabric previously lived on FringeMan’s back in the form of a T-Shirt.  If you’d like to make your own, here’s the LINK.  This is a wonderful blog that I only discovered this weekend.

Finally, [insert cheers of joy] my daughter gets her obviously fashion forward style from WHO?  I’m leaning towards one or both grandmas at this moment.


12 thoughts on “Randomly Lame Life

  1. Pingback: Satan Cupcakes & A Kitchen Fail | the domestic fringe

  2. jessica

    actually, I would wear that scarf. Great color. A microwave is a girl and the stove is a boy. I would think it would the other way around as so many men seem to “cook” so quickly

  3. Cathy

    Love the scarf, Fringekids outfit, not so much…no offense meant. I think Fringepup is adorable in that picture! But I do understand about the double personality. My dog is like that too.

  4. robinaltman

    So funny! I love FringeKid telling you the sex of all the nouns in the kitchen! She’s a girl after my own heart.

    I think the scarf is wonderful, and you look adorable. And FringeKid’s pj’s? A work of elderly art.

  5. red.neck Chic

    I’m laughing so hard… you totally crack me up!!! I love your scarf – if your microwave and fridge hook up you are SO in the money!!!

    And I don’t know how to say any of that in spanish – but Frigebaby’s jammies ROCK!!!

    😉 robelyn

  6. Jenn

    Nice scarf!!!!! You are cute! And FringeKid follows in your footsteps! Wow!! You really had cut quite a bit of hair! Looks good, even if you don’t think so. =) I think you were just a little cranky when you wrote this because there is NO DOUBLE CHIN! And the sweater looks super comfy! Crazy woman!!!!! I think FringeMan should model the scarf next though.

  7. Jill

    That picture of FringeKid is priceless! I think my dishwasher and my refrigerator are both boys. They get in the way in the kitchen and they never quite do the job they are supposed to do. Have a great day and try not to burn yourself on that lightbulb!

  8. Debbie York

    I don’t know where to start…what a hoot! Here’s hoping you at least get a little “warmth” going on between the micro and stove. Maybe you can at least get a convection out of the deal. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that sparks fly!
    Girl, if you want to see double chins…come on over. There is no lunar cycle at the Casita de Trash…I “moon” everyone!
    The scarf is terrif…if you had used the loom though, could you have made one from the hair off his back instead? Just wondering!
    Finally…what a sense of style. She’s going to fit into Hollywood or on the stage just fine. Just a flair for the dramatics! Ole’!


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