Jail Time

This post is linked to Tuesday’s Unwrapped @ Chatting at the Sky.  Visit for more stories.

Yesterday began innocently enough.  FringeMan turned on his lovey-dovey voice, gazed into my eyes, and said “Do you want to come to work with me today?”

I’m wise to his game.  He doesn’t want me around for company any more than he wants the dog tagging along.  Turns out, he had wallpaper that needed to be stripped for a kitchen renovation he’s doing.  I find it ironic that he’s renovating another woman’s kitchen while I am left counterless; however, he’s not giving her the things that I need – cabinet doors and countertops.  She only gets lights and sheetrock from him, so I’m not whining.

Unfortunately I was a wretched wife wrapped in the sleepiness of her bathrobe and I told him that I had a lot of important things I HAD TO DO.  Today.  I gave him a kiss and my best tips for removing wallpaper and sent him on his way.

Lest you think I am always so heartless, I will prove you wrong.  There have been many a cold day that I have helped run service wire on top of a mountain in order to get somebody’s electricity hooked up.  I hung vinyl siding while pregnant and my neck is permanently cricked from holding boards of sheetrock on the ceiling while he screws them in.  I work with him, just not this day.

Until…

He came walking back in the door two minutes later telling me the woman called in sick with the swine flu and he had to reschedule.  Suddenly I was awake and ready to work.  Nothing was so important that it couldn’t be put off until tomorrow.

I was dressed in five minutes and talked him into taking me out.  Since we hung signs that said ELECTRICIAN – INSURED & PHONE # in every town between here and the closest good pizza place (a forty minute drive – we’re picky), it was more of a work date, but I’ll take what I can get.  These signs, made of corrugated plastic, are fabulous.  They are red and white and can be spotted a mile away.  They were also my idea.  I had 100 signs sent straight from Texas.  I figure I deserve a paycheck since now I’m not only working as a ‘helper’, but also a publicist.

We tacked signs to every visible telephone poll between here and Canada.  Ok, not quite that far, but far.

Sure enough, during dinner FringeMan’s phone starts ringing.  You can imagine his surprise when it was the police department informing him that he is currently violating town ordinances and his name could potentially show up on America’s Most Wanted.  I could just imagine him being pulled over while on a Sunday drive and spending the night in the local slammer, because that would happen.  Make no mistake.

It would also appear in the paper and need explaining come Sunday morning church.  Preachers doing jail time are not in vogue.

I’ll just say he was less than pleased to retrace his miles and remove the signs, but I am happy.  I went out and had pizza.

I know what you’re thinking and yes, my life really is that lame.

Today I am thankful for the gift of a good husband – one who will exhibit self-control and not murder me for the giant box full of signs sitting in his office.  A husband that takes me for pizza even when I refuse to remove another woman’s wallpaper.

There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “He who findeth a wife findeth a good thing.”  Sometimes it’s the other way around.

If you’re new to the domestic fringe and have not yet met my husband, please click HERE.

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27 thoughts on “Jail Time

  1. Pingback: I said THAT? 2010 Blog Recap | the domestic fringe

  2. Pingback: Electrify My Bed « the domestic fringe

  3. Patti Lacy

    I think you could write about mold and make it interesting.
    Your husband definitely sounds like a keeper.
    Thanks for yet another of your “every-day” stories!

    Patti

    Reply
  4. LJ

    If you get 8 or higher gauss hearing aid battery sized magnets you can slide them in between the corrugation and make large truck or car signs. We did that during the campaign- but did not try and drive with them- more stuck on the side of the car while it was parked.

    Reply
  5. Hat Chick

    We are struggling to find ways to drive new parishoners to our little church. We had the same sign idea, but it was nixed for the same reason…county ordinances.

    You fringy’s compliment each other. Keep up the good work.

    Robelyn, I might steal the magnet idea for the church.

    Reply
  6. Mom

    What about on personal property? Maybe you can knock on doors and ask if you can stick a sign on their lawn!!!

    Reply
  7. Mindy

    I soooo saw it coming before you even got to it. Signs on telephone poles are soooo darned ugly. Go for the magnet on the truck door. Much better. And yes. I love that picture. Sweet! ~Mindy

    Reply
  8. DJ

    We once tried it with garage sale signs. {Didn’t do it again~} They were legal as long as they were attached to a stake in the ground, but we were told to leave those tele poles alone.

    What a cute couple you make!
    If you ended up in the slammer, at least you both would look good in stripes…

    Reply
  9. Debbie York

    Obviously not a red letter day for the FringeMan, but hey…pizza! Can I suggest hitting every communtity bulletin board in the area with those signs. It’s a great idea and so were RNC’s!
    Debbie
    P.S. He’s a keeper!

    Reply
    1. Jenn

      That’s another good idea. Hit every store, library, etc. that has a bulletin board. Put magnets around or make a 8 1/2 x 11 sign and make the tab-like cuttings on the bottom so people can take the phone number. What about having one of those signs on your front lawn or porch?

      Reply
  10. robinaltman

    Drat! Who would have thunk it? I sure wouldn’t have! I’d be in jail doing crossword puzzles with a pile of signs at my feet.

    Robelyn is a genius!

    Reply
  11. red.neck Chic

    LOLOL

    Here’s my words of wisdom as a sign makin’ girl… splash that info on the back of any and all vehicles! Don’t do the sides… the back is the best advertisement! Or, if you want to one-up it, make some business card size magnetics (you can even do that on your home computer!) and stick them all over his vehicle so that people walking by can grab them off and take ’em home to their refrigerator! That’s just what I’ve learnt…
    Don’t you hate city ordinances? LOLOL

    I hope the lady feels better soon! Don’t let him talk you into removing wall paper when she does – I’m fairly certain you have 50 million important things to do at that time… haha!

    Great story as always!!!
    😉 robelyn

    Reply
    1. Jenn

      I like the magnet idea!!! Dominos Pizza had the same idea, except, they threw them all over everyone’s cars. My car had about 15 of them all over it.

      Reply

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