This week I have really embraced my inner nerd, catalogued all my books, and learned myself a few things. Being Velma isn’t all that bad.
First, I can’t stop painting. My house will never be completely painted. It’s a little bit of an obsession or maybe it’s a compulsion, probably a twisted mix of both. I just know that eventually I will require intervention. Someone will need to stand on my porch with a megaphone and tell me to “Put the brush down and step away from the can.” Two days of sunshine and I already broke out the spray paint. Maybe I need to buy some white overalls and go into business.
I am also seriously considering painting my floors the color of mud. Does anybody feel the need to talk me out of this? If you do, now’s the time. Benjamin Moore makes a floor paint in a very deep chocolate-brown. I can’t afford new floors, but white was a very poor choice of floor color. It’s fine for my bedroom; however, downstairs is a disaster. Only paint your floors white if you plan on evicting your family, killing your dog, and cutting off your feet.
Also, the next time I mention painting my banister and all the twenty-six spindles that line each step, remind me to rip the entire staircase out and use a ladder. Painting spindles is worse than painting pickets. Thankfully I’ve run out of paint, so I am taking a break. My brush needs a rest.
I know you want pictures and I promise you’ll be the first to see the completed design. I am just holding out for one of those dramatic before and after photos.
Second, I had no idea the pig is the animal of choice in home remedies. I’m not sure I’ll wrap myself in a slab of raw pork, but I will definitely eat a BLT the next time I feel under the weather. If you missed Doctoring Without a License, click HERE. The comments are interesting.
Third, grass isn’t the only thing that grows in Springtime. My children both outgrew all of their shoes and boots after one week of temps above freezing. If we lived in Florida, they would be giants with boats for feet. We went on an all out shopping spree in Wally World. Yes, I am cheap. My kids already know that if it doesn’t have a red clearance sticker, we can’t buy it. Thankfully we found a lovely pair of pink and white sneakers for $5 and some dark manly colors for $10.
I know. Why am I telling you this?
It is because I really needed a hybrid that walks between the boots and flip-flops.
If anyone feels the need to nominate me for “What Not to Wear,” I am ready. Bring on the cameras!