Ugly Shoes & BLT’s

This week I have really embraced my inner nerd, catalogued all my books, and learned myself a few things.  Being Velma isn’t all that bad.

First, I can’t stop painting.  My house will never be completely painted.  It’s a little bit of an obsession or maybe it’s a compulsion, probably a twisted mix of both.  I just know that eventually I will require intervention.  Someone will need to stand on my porch with a megaphone and tell me to “Put the brush down and step away from the can.”  Two days of sunshine and I already broke out the spray paint.   Maybe I need to buy some white overalls and go into business.

I am also seriously considering painting my floors the color of mud.  Does anybody feel the need to talk me out of this?  If you do, now’s the time.  Benjamin Moore makes a floor paint in a very deep chocolate-brown.  I can’t afford new floors, but white was a very poor choice of floor color.  It’s fine for my bedroom; however, downstairs is a disaster.  Only paint your floors white if you plan on evicting your family, killing your dog, and cutting off your feet.

Also, the next time I mention painting my banister and all the twenty-six spindles that line each step, remind me to rip the entire staircase out and use a ladder.  Painting spindles is worse than painting pickets.  Thankfully I’ve run out of paint, so I am taking a break.  My brush needs a rest.

I know you want pictures and I promise you’ll be the first to see the completed design.  I am just holding out for one of those dramatic before and after photos.

Second, I had no idea the pig is the animal of choice in home remedies.  I’m not sure I’ll wrap myself in a slab of raw pork, but I will definitely eat a BLT the next time I feel under the weather.  If you missed Doctoring Without a License, click HERE.  The comments are interesting.

Third, grass isn’t the only thing that grows in Springtime.  My children both outgrew all of their shoes and boots after one week of temps above freezing.  If we lived in Florida, they would be giants with boats for feet.  We went on an all out shopping spree in Wally World.  Yes, I am cheap.  My kids already know that if it doesn’t have a red clearance sticker, we can’t buy it.  Thankfully we found a lovely pair of pink and white sneakers for $5 and some dark manly colors for $10.

I know.  Why am I telling you this?

It is because I really needed a hybrid that walks between the boots and flip-flops.

$7 incase you’re wondering and not worth a penny more.  When you live in North, you become so desperate for Spring that you’ll wear a garden on your feet.

If anyone feels the need to nominate me for “What Not to Wear,” I am ready.  Bring on the cameras!

From a blogger with bad taste in shoes,

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16 thoughts on “Ugly Shoes & BLT’s

  1. Pingback: Ten Trivial Things I Know « the domestic fringe

  2. Pingback: Tuesday’s Nonsense « the domestic fringe

  3. Sara

    I think that if the shoes make you happy, you should definitely wear them, especially since they were such a “bargain”! 🙂

    Reply
  4. Dani Joy

    Oh I got laughing outloud about the “garden” on your feet!! I totally relate, but you won´t catch me wearing those here in Spain though. jeje Floral would be a dead give away for American! Sooo I have refrained from floral for that past oooo… 8 years! I have one floral dress from the PCC days only because my hubby to be bought it for me.

    What´s up with the pork remidies?? guess I will have to check that out.

    Girl you crack me up! except for the skeleton jumping infront of the camera trick. that had me running to the little girls room!

    Dani Joy

    Reply
  5. robinaltman

    This might sound dumb, but I know they make a paint that fakes wood. It has graininess and everything. I’m not sure how it works, but my parents painted all the molding in our house with the stuff, and it looked awesome. What about that, instead of brown? But brown sounds pretty – don’t get me wrong.

    Reply
  6. caprik

    I remember my Mom telling me she was going to paint the walls the color of dirt!

    It must be a Northern thing, because I totally understand the need for those shoes!

    Reply
  7. Jill

    Dark floors do show light colored dirt (in your area I guess it would be salt; in mine it would be sand.) Do a swirling mix of dark to light browns on the floor. Whatever area of my house isn’t carpeted has varying shades of brown tile, and they can be totally filthy before anyone notices. Not that I actually let them get that way. Ahem!

    The shoes are cute, but I don’t think they’ll last long in melting snow and spring rains unless they are strictly an inside shoe. I’d go with letting your mom buy you some too.

    Reply
  8. Kristen @ Motherese

    My sister-in-law and I often conspire to figure out ways to get ourselves on What Not To Wear. And I don’t think the “garden on the feet” shoes are that bad actually, but I see from the previous comment that your mom is offering to buy you new shoes, so why not take her up on it? 🙂

    Reply
  9. Mom

    Put those shoes (if that is what they are called) to the side!!!!Tricia, I promise to buy you shoes the next time I am visiting.

    Reply

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