A Grown Up Heart

About two years ago, my doctor thought he heard a murmur in my heart.  I wasn’t surprised, because on a bad day, I can murmur and complain enough to cause Moses himself heartache; however, my doctor wanted me to see a cardiologist.  In the past I had a couple of incidences with irregular heartbeats when I was running on the treadmill, and it is imperially important that a heart beat, murmuring and complaining or not.

My one little visit to the heart doctor turned into a series of tests that caused my wallet to tremble.  I got to see my heart pumping away on a monitor and I even had my aorta checked.  They thought it was enlarged.  I fear my bottom has become enlarged, but thankfully nobody’s ever suggested photo imaging of my backside.

Then I took the test where they try to kill you on a treadmill.  Don’t ever let the technician in charge of all the wires coming off your chest know that you do any form of regular exercise.  In fact, pretend you can’t walk on one leg for this test.  If they see even the tiniest hint that you’ve used a treadmill in your lifetime, they defy gravity with the incline and up your speed until you are running faster than the traffic speeding outside the window.  They make you stay on until your heart explodes or they decide you’ll live for another six months.

They nearly killed me, but left me with just enough spark to come back two days later and do it all over again.  Only this time they decided to inject me with nuclear waste.  It was my first time dripping drops of glowing sweat.

The best part is when they decided I was done.  Instead of dropping the incline and decreasing the speed, they just pressed stop and I nearly fell over the front of the treadmill and flew out the window.  The nurse caught me just short of breaking glass and threw me onto a table to see how my heart would react.  I am convinced if you don’t die during one of those tests, you’ll live until you’re ninety.

Me as Madonna sometime in the 80's

It was during my last appointment that the doctor was to give me a prognosis and tell me whether I had a happy heart or murmuring heart.  My husband was a little nervous and decided to come along, but he only came as far as the parking lot.  I think he was scared that they’d put him on a treadmill.

By the time I came out to the car, my husband thought I was about to undergo the knife or worse.  After the routine waiting room stint, I spent about forty minutes in the doctor’s office, ten of which we discussed my heart.  We talked about Burt’s Bees, make-up, and Maine for the other thirty minutes.  I walked out wishing he, his wife, and kids would come over for dinner.

On that cool Spring day, I realized that I was growing up.  No longer are my doctors old men in scary white lab coats; they are people with whom I would choose to spend time.  It finally dawned on me that my friends are doctors, lawyers, teachers, bankers, police officers, writers, clergy, and business owners.  We are running our communities.  We are the grown-ups.

My heart is fine.  It just beats to an unusual rhythm, but I am still mystified with adulthood.  It sneaked up me unawares.  I can’t define a time when I transitioned from carefree youth into responsible adult, but it happened.  I am all grown-up.

I just hope old age doesn’t sneak up on me as quickly.  I don’t want to wake up tomorrow and find myself using a cane, eating all bran cereal, and holding my teeth while I brush them.

When did you realize that you were all grown up?

This post is linked to Flashback Friday hosted by Mylestones and Friday Photo hosted by More Than Words.  Go visit by clicking on the photos below and read more stories with the theme ALL GROWN UP and see some great old photos.

Friday Photo Flashback


22 thoughts on “A Grown Up Heart

  1. jessica

    the image of you when they stopped the treadmill is priceless. I realized I was old when I heard the word “mommy” and it was directed at me.

  2. Elyse

    ROFL!!!! you are so hilarious! it is just recently that ive started to feel like a bonafide a-dult. and it wasnt gradual either, it just kind of hit me one day. and i kind of like it, but the jury’s still out on that one. 😉

    so glad your heart is fine!

  3. robinaltman

    That sounds scary! It was you first health scare, and you got threw it with flying colors. May you never have another! Not color. Health scare. You got that, right?

  4. Patti Lacy

    I think it was last year, when my hubby told me I finally liked the person living in my skin.

    Heart murmur here! Has been monitored and clocked and stressed and it is fine. Or it is mine. Or both!

    Blessings, dear one.

  5. caprik

    I have some Madonna pictures in the archives a swell!

    I like your statement about dr.s being people. One of The Boy’s hem/onc drs is from Canada and together they are ALL about the hockey talk! And it’s a woman!!Very cute!

  6. Hat Chick

    I feel like I’ve been a grownup since I was nine, but I have to confess I never felt older than when my MIL broke her leg at Christmas and I turned caregiver instantly. What a wake-up call.

  7. Maria (Personalized Sketches)

    Love your post :o) …your story of when the realization hit and also your photos. :o)

    It amazes me to think that we dressed like that in the 80’s! And that now my grown kids will rummage through my clothes to find something for their 80’s themed parties! Who and what were the fashion “experts” thinking in the 80’s! :o)

    I thought I was grown at 18 when I got married 28+ years ago! but then I look at 18 year olds around me and think “wow! they are mere babies!”

    Blessings & Aloha!

  8. Jo@Mylestones

    Love the Madonna look!
    That transition to being a full-fledged grown up does sneak up on us. One minute you’re dressing as Madonna, the next you’re running a PTA meeting.
    Thanks for linking up. I enjoy your stories!

  9. Alicia

    Hi there!! This was such an amusing post!! I was totally picturing you on a treadmill, almost falling. Well, not that that would have been funny, but you know what I mean.

    I totally remember the Madonna phase! I still love her songs from her early days!!

    I’m so glad you joined in with us!!! Have a great weekend.

  10. Debra

    Love the Madonna look! When I had to start cooking every Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner I thought, whoa! I have to do this ’til I’m in a nursing home!

  11. Gabriela

    Well I guess my defining moment came when I had to stand up for my child and be her advocate when another parent (a sick-O) was bullying my child at every turn like the school cafeteria, in the locker rooms at the community pool, and school parking lot. I ended up getting a restraining order on the woman. Yeah, don’t piss me off or I go for the jugular.

  12. Jill

    Glad your heart is okay! I don’t really remember when I knew I was a grown up, but I do think on almost a daily basis, “My parents were a lot more mature than this when they were my age.” And I don’t mean that in a forever-youthful-spirit kind of way.

  13. Mindee@ourfrontdoor

    I didn’t realize it until I had to go to middle school Parent/Teacher conferences.
    As a parent.
    And I was older than many of the teachers.

    BTW, I totally had that belt in the 80’s. It’s fabulous.

  14. Debbie York

    Did not know I was…YET!
    Seriously, four events led up to the realization….birth of my two children, loss of my daddy and becoming a caregiver to my mother all at a relatively young age. I had my kids at 21 and 24, I lost my daddy at 36 and my mother’s health became an issue when I was 44. Thank goodness I had a great childhood or I would think I had missed out entirely of being young. Maybe that’s why I work so hard at playing now.
    P.S. You know it’s just the hubster making your heart beat funny!

  15. red.neck Chic

    You know, I love your stories. Even if I don’t tell you that each time, I’m reading them and loving them. LOL Ah…. Madonna… I hope all photos of me in that stage have since been burned. ha!

    For me… I don’t think there was/is a defining moment. Am I grown up yet? Hmmmm…

    😉 robelyn


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