I am melting.
I find no shame in saying that I am wimpy, a fair weather female at my best; however, temperatures are rising, school days are rushing past in a flurry of last-minute performances, and the kids have transformed into rambunctious rascals. How will we parents survive this summer’s frantic demands for fun?
I have a few tips to help you keep your sanity as you survive and possibly even enjoy this summer with your kids.
* Forget showers. A regular dunk in a well-chlorinated pool not only kills germs, but it will make your children smile. There’s nothing better than a grinning, sanitized child.
* Buy your children cheap clothes. Fashion is for adults. Kids need quantity, not quality. They will lose shirts, leave socks by the lake, mutilate sneakers, and trade swim trunks. Do not expect them to return for lunch wearing all their clothes.
* Water + Mud = FUN
* Buy stock in cheap ice-pops. You can pass them out to the entire neighborhood through a slightly cracked window. Unless you live in a dirt hut, do not allow the children back inside for drinks. Trust me. Ice-pops also work on bumps and lumps.
* After the children have gone outside, lock your front door. Remember Water + Mud = FUN. It also = work for YOU.
* Don’t plant anything you are not willing to display in small jars and vases throughout your home. If it is growing, your child will pick it. If it is growing in your neighbor’s yard, your child is twice as likely to pick it. Get ready to apologize profusely and pray none of your neighbors are members of the local garden club.
* If you have a vegetable garden, understand that no fruit will grow to full maturity. You will have baby everything – baby carrots, baby corn, baby peppers, baby (green) tomatoes, baby beans, etc.
* Band-aids are infused with miraculous healing powers. Use them. Band-aids decorated with cartoon characters also provide pain relief.
* While shopping for linens, including towels and washcloths, be inspired by MUD. Embrace brown.
While this list is not exhaustive, I do hope it helps. Please feel free to add your advice in the comments and remember, have FUN!
Happy Long Summery Memorial Day Weekend!