I don’t usually make lists. Ask anyone in my household who expects a complete meal at dinner. I always forget something. It all started long ago when I would forget my lunch box. If it were not for my grandfather bringing my lunch to school everyday, I would have starved to death. Or maybe I would have just been thinner. Hmmm…I’m getting less thankful for that lunch with each thought.
The point is (I know you are wondering if there’s a point) I’m making a list today.
1. Sometimes I wish I began my day with a two-mile run instead of a cup of coffee; however, two words come to mind – FAT CHANCE.
2. FringeKid’s stolen bike has been recovered. My son and his friends did what the local police could not. They found FringeKid’s discarded bike. It had been thrown over a chain-link fence and into a ditch. Frankly I do not expect the police to recover stolen items. Let’s face it, they have enough to do! A stolen bicycle is not a high priority, except to a child. Now my children found the bike and they feel vindicated. They recovered their personal property, and FringeKid got a new bike from the ordeal.
I come from a long line of fighting theft victims. Seriously, if you are a their, beware of my family. I had a great-aunt who mercilessly beat a thief on a city bus once. There was no way of knowing the sweet old woman had tools in her purse. He simply picked the wrong woman to rob.
My very old grandfather chased a thief several blocks after catching him breaking into my uncle’s van. The scallywag dropped the goods as he was running. My grandfather apologized for not catching him.
Don’t mess with my family!
3. I am homeschooling. You know that already, but it’s just sinking in for me. For the next nine years, there is no hope of me having an hour to myself. What was I thinking? Call me a sitter please.
4. The next time I decide it’s a good idea to have the kids make an ancient Egyptian art project, beat some sense into me. I am a mommy, not a mummy!
5. Is there an alternative to frizzy hair? For me, I mean. Don’t comment on this if you happen to be a woman with sleek, straight gorgeous hair. I don’t like you.
Strike my last sentence from the record.
It’s your hair I don’t like.