Good Enough for Grandma

We are never satisfied.

I’m not talking about our children, we expect them to continue wanting until they reach maturity.  I am talking about us – women.  Maybe social climates are the same for men.  I’m not sure.  I can only speak from experience and observation.

Mothers are competing with their sixteen year-old daughters to be relevent, look youthful, and wear skinny jeans.  Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Wasn’t it at one time acceptable for a woman to age gracefully?

For the most part we marry, have babies, build a career, keep a home, rear children, and enjoy hobbies.  With all we accomplish, don’t we also gain peace and contentment?  Maybe just a little tranquility in our mid-life so we can enjoy the home, hobbies, and children?

Today it seems we do not.

We work endlessly to lose ten more pounds.  We may be twenty doubled, but we will not allow ourselves to look a day older than 22.  Ok, 27.  Maybe.

Gray hair?

Wash it away.

Upper arm flab?

‘They’re called reps, and we do them with free weights.

Mom jeans?

We’d rather be dead.

We hold ourselves and each other to a standard of youthfulness we had and enjoyed.

Once.

Do we need to relive those days to be happy?

It’s not only our bodies that are under scrutiny, it’s also our homes.

Can you believe Sally hasn’t updated her appliances?  There’s not a shine of stainless to be seen!

Change the  knobs on all your cabinets, or better yet, update cabinets.  We all know they are uselessly ugly after fifteen years.

Please tell me you don’t still have swags!  Surely we can take out the sewing machine between our 2-minute potty break and six-thirty dinner.

Heaven help us all if your bedding is dated!  You do want a good sex life at ninety-two, don’t you?

Definitely update the bedding.

The lists go on and on and on and on and on and on.

We wonder why we’re too exhausted for sex even after the bedding was changed.

Remember walking into your grandma’s house and feeling loved?  You wouldn’t a trade being wrapped in her squishy body for a day of looking good in skinny jeans.  Would you?

In grandmas house the curtains were old as she, and don’t even start looking for stainless steel.  Her refrigerator was new in 1944.  She didn’t know about the “Go Green” campaign because her static still interrupted the nightly news, despite rabbit ears.  She had a closet full of clothes, and considered a sweater good until it stopped keeping her warm.

When did being human stop being ok?

Since when is not good enough to wear last year’s clothes?

Can’t we live comfortably in a home that’s slightly outdated, but filled with love?

Are we stopping long enough in our life to allow some memories to accumulate in our homes, in our lives, in our hearts?

I may be wrong, and please tell me if I am, but I think we’re too busy updating, fixing, toning, and coloring to enjoy the peace of a well-built home and a happily spent life.

Make no mistake, I don’t think updates are bad.  I hate mom jeans on me!  I even like stainless steel.  I just don’t think we need these things to be happy, fulfilled, loved, and at peace.  I just think that sometimes we need to sit and relax, enjoy life a little.

I want to look younger, be thinner, and have a nice home too, but ladies, I do believe we are driving ourselves absolutely bloomin’ crazy.

All for nothing.

What thinks you?

I am linking this post to Raising Homemakers. Go visit!

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23 thoughts on “Good Enough for Grandma

  1. Melodie

    I LOVED this post!

    “I think we’re too busy updating, fixing, toning, and coloring to enjoy the peace of a well-built home and a happily spent life.”

    I couldn’t agree more! wonderfully well written and can’t wait to read more. : )

    Reply
  2. Amber Pamper

    I love this post!! 🙂 And I needed it today as I am feeling overwhelmed with running around doing so many things all the time. I feel like I am chasing something yet I never catch it. Kind of what you describe in the post. Always something more, bigger, or better. I think it is good to have goals, dreams, and aspirations but where I falter is when I don’t meet all my ideals I feel like I let myself down. Even though in essence I have done and continue to do such a good job as a mother, Christ follower, daughter, friend, nurse, and home-maker. 🙂

    Ttfn. ❤

    Reply
  3. Tori Nelson

    Love the new header and LOVE. THIS. POST! The idea of keeping up with the girl two treadmills over is absolutely exhausting. Better to take a step back and appreciate what is in front of you, rather than trying to keep up with the social chase!

    Reply
  4. Hat Chick

    First…love this post!

    My only goal is to age gracefully, which means that I take preventative measures like moisturizing and getting a little exercise. Do I “paint the barn”? Absolutely!

    I do feel a need to be fashionable, but not trendy. My home is a reflection of our family heritage (I agree, things were built to last in the good ole days), our travels and things we like. Do I have some bare walls? Yep! I am in no hurry to run to Pottery Barn or Hobby Lobby to fill a blank space. Living life will eventually fill all the spaces. Did I put granite countertops in the bathrooms? Yep. Do I want new carpet but can’t get it? Yep.

    Do I let it consume me or make me unhappy or feel pressured? Nope.

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      Hat Chick, that was EXACTLY my point!!!!!

      Part of aging gracefully is upkeep. I’m all for it. Think we need it. But there’s no need for my sixty year-old self (I’m not 60) to look like a 18 year-old.

      Same with our homes.
      Thank you for ‘getting it’.

      Reply
  5. Charming's Mama

    Preach it sista’ and you can call me Grandma, ‘cuz you have so aptly described my “need” to be updated or lack of being up to date and I’m squishy in all the right places.

    Reply
  6. Joyce

    A wonderfully thought provoking post…I think its not so much about the particulars as it is about being content. We are a restless society. As I was reading I was thinking about my in laws…they have a lot of ‘stuff’ jammed into a small living space. It makes my hubs a little bit crazy. My girls on the other hand, when they were little, were positively fascinated with all the ‘stuff and couldn’t wait to pile into grandmas and play with all the treasures. Perspective is a beautiful thing!

    Reply
    1. Kelly

      Unfortunately, some people think “content” means you’ve “settled” for something less. I love Philippians 4:12 – “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.”

      Reply
  7. debbie york

    Let me start by saying Grandma could keep things for a trillion years ’cause they were built to last. My first fridge lasted 30 years…we’ll see about the second! Clothes are made to last ummm…maybe a year and that’s if they’re not dried. That said…I do have clothes and shoes in my closet that are at least 12 years old. I figure they’ll come back in style. (BTW…high waisted jeans are back!)
    As far as “painting the barn” as my dear friend Laura wisely says…it’s all about moderation. When the quest for outer beauty overtakes the inner beauty…we’ve gone too far.

    Debbie
    P.S. Bella thinks every short chubby lady is her nana!

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      You always make me smile Debbie! It’s not about keeping outdated stuff, it’s just that everyday we are bombarded with everyone telling us we need new, bigger, brighter, better. It makes me tired sometimes.

      And. I. Paint. The. Barn!

      Reply
  8. caprik

    I am with Kelly. I do believe in a certain amount of temple maintenance, for health purposes, but I am not trying to keep up with anyone.

    I have two motto’s that I follow:

    It’s all gonna burn-my friend Sue
    and
    I yam what I yam-Popeye

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      I’m all about upkeep! In fact I think I wrote about looking nice recently. This isn’t about upkeep, it’s about unrealistic desires, and believing the lie that we can’t be content with an older version of our fabulous self.

      Reply
  9. Kelly

    So true I think, for a lot of women. But not for me.

    I do not “wash that gray right outta my hair”, I have worn the same outfits for at least the last four years, the only shoes I own are one pair of black flats for work and a pair of white and pink tennies. I am happiest in sweats and a t-shirt. I do not get mani-pedis. And my cabinets are stained dark walnut and have been since 1980. Last but not least, I am perfectly content!

    Reply

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