Singing Amazing Grace & Eating a Cherry Pie

“I’m cold and hungry.  I thought this eating healthy thing was supposed to be doing me some good.  I ate two oranges today and I don’t feel one bit better.”

This is part of an actual conversation in my home.  I won’t divulge the identity of the speaker.  She would rather remain anonymous.

Cherry Pie

Courtesy of cknlomein - Flickr

Later in the evening, I ran to the store to pick-up deodorant, milk, and napkins.  In that order.  In a moment of extreme sugary weakness, I allowed my son to talk me into purchasing individual pies – his chocolate and mine cherry.

In my defense, he is quite persuasive.  My son has a future as a lawyer or a criminal.  I’d like to think he’ll go into law.

I’ve operated quite successfully for many years in the firm grasp of guilt.  My husband says my face screams GUILTY whenever I pass a police car, although I’ve only been ticketed once.  It’s not easy carrying around the guilt of my little world, but someone’s gotta do it.  So if pressed, I’d confess to the crimes of ten men or women.  I’m sure I deserve the punishment anywhoo.

That’s the guilt talking.

The cherry pie nearly immobilized me with guilt.

Am I drowning my sorrows in cherry pie?

Yes.

Am I eating cherry pie for comfort?

Y.e.s.

Am I nothing more than a sugar addict?

Yes, yes, YES!

I didn’t eat the cherry pie.  It’s still sitting on my counter.  Thankfully the preservatives will keep it fresh for years.  The guilt of a cherry pie will haunt me until I’m sixty.

I wonder if all the dieting eating healthy pays off in the end.  Will I be rocking in my chair at eighty thanking God Almighty that I ate my carrots?  Or, will I be leading my great-grandkids down the slippery road of crime.  Will I convince them to smuggle Twix into Dying Waters Rest Home?

I already feel the guilt of two generations to come.

Flash forward forty-five years…

I’m sitting in my rocker with a crocheted blanket on my lap.  I’m eating chocolate, cheeseburgers, and fries.  I am singing Amazing Grace!

I guess I’ll have to wait a while before I can enter the land flowing with chocolate and cheese milk and honey.

In the meantime, I’ll go eat another orange.

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11 thoughts on “Singing Amazing Grace & Eating a Cherry Pie

  1. Pingback: Bumblebees, Books, and Other Assorted Nonsense « the domestic fringe

  2. Mom

    Remember that statement about cheeseburgers and fries when I am in my rocker in the nursing home!!!
    The new post on the church is awesome!! Maybe it needs to be sent to all the women’s christian magazines so that more women will get the message. A copy to the local church would be great too!!!

    Reply
  3. DJ

    But, to be totally fair, I actually DO have a store-bought peach pie calling my name right about now! LOL
    Love you girl!
    Hope FringeKid is OK about everything; she’s the one I cried about while reading.)

    Reply
  4. DJ

    Well, AngelCookie, if I can’t respond to your “Plea to the Church” on that post, I’ll certainly respond to it here.
    YOU ARE SO RIGHT, I COULD SPIT!
    Please read my latest blogpost entitled “Puzzle Pieces Fit Together” and note the video I mentioned. It has had a powerful impact on many, and perhaps we all need to be reminded of it. You may want to send a copy to that church across town…? 🙂
    Hugs n Prayers
    DJ

    Reply
  5. Tori Nelson

    I never met a pie I didn’t like (and darn near eat whole). I think giving into the sweetness once in a while is just a sign of a healthy and balanced life!

    Reply
  6. Sara

    Oh my gosh! You are so into my mind!! I didn’t do my “Jillian” work-out as much as I should have this week and I just obsessed over it all week. Then, I snacked on some cookies and chips and decided I was a truly terrible,awful, horrible person. It’s such a vicious cycle!! I know what I need to do, but I can’t find the motivation within to just do it. And then, I fill up with guilt and self-loathing. Ugh! Guys don’t do this. Why do we do this to ourselves?

    Thanks for posting!

    Reply
  7. thelastdrops

    That’s some willpower! I am new to wordpress…. stumbled upon your blog. I am looking to follow some weight loss/inspiring blogs…

    Yours fits the bill just perfectly! 🙂

    Reply

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