An Army of Ermas Day

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, “A house guest,” you’re wrong because I have just described my kids.
Erma Bombeck

Last Christmas a friend and fellow blogger, Janna of Something She Wrote, alerted me to a contest over at An Army of Ermas.  I submitted a ridiculous story about splurging for ugly at Christmas and my Christmas trees always being skinnier than I am.  By some Christmas miracle, I won the chance to become an Erma.

I definitely feel like a freshman wanna-be writer in a crown of accomplished seniors, but being an Erma is a blast.  Everyone rallies with kind words and funny comebacks, making me feel right at home.

No one is more supportive and encouraging than our editor Stacey Graham.  She is an amazing woman, mom, and author.  She gets more work done at home with her kids running around than just about any other woman I know.  I both admire her and want to learn from her.

One thing I appreciate about Stacey is her sense of humor.  I guess that’s why she’s the mother of all Ermas.  She has a knack for being lighthearted even when she has to correct you.

So on this An Army of Ermas Day, I want to say a big Thank You to Stacey for keeping a smile on our faces and humor in our hearts.

Thanks Stacey!  We appreciate all your hard work.

———————————————————————

When I began writing this blog, I never dreamed I’d have the honor to be named among the Ermas.  I simply wrote to tell my story.  This is a post from my first month blogging…

Last night I dreamed that I was riding a bicycle in a triathlon. I awoke so excited! What a breakthrough!

This means that since I’ve begun exercising in my subconscious, it’s only a matter of time before my innate desire for athletics permeates my conscience.

Things are looking up!

I’ll have to check my calves and see if they’re subconsciously tightening.  While I’m talking fitness…Have you heard of the “Fit-Flop?”  I hadn’t until yesterday when a woman walking her black lab stopped me and asked to see my flip-flops.

Imagine my surprise.

After all I wasn’t wearing my fancy, canary yellow flip-flops. I was wearing my generic rubber, pink Speedo flip-flops. Now these aren’t as grungy as the foam flat flip-flops (the kind that are about as thick as a slice of cheese), but they’re not in the sandal category either (not like my canary yellow flip-flops).  They are, however, quite sporty and after all the exercise I’ve getting in my sleep, it was appropriate I wear them yesterday.

When somebody asks to see my shoes, of course I oblige them.  I lifted up my pants leg (jeans are always too long on me and I despise hemming) and wished I didn’t have dirt between my toes already. It was still too early in the day for toe dirt.

Disappointedly this dog walker says, “Oh, they’re only Speedos.”

Suddenly I’m flashed back to middle school when I wore fake Keds…the kind you bought in the grocery store for a few bucks.  Such sadness.

She goes on to say, “I thought they were FIT-FLOPS”.

Now she’s talking my language.

It seems these fit-flops provide extra exercise while performing normal activities such as walking through the grocery store.  I have to own a pair!  Maybe two.  Why with a triathlon workout by night and fit-flops by day, I’ll be twenty pounds thinner and in a bikini before the snow flies.

—————————————————————————

Have you ever read Erma Bombeck?

What’s your favorite thing she wrote?

P.S.  I still don’t have a pair of Fit-Flops.

P.P.S.  I still wish I had a pair of Fit-Flops.

P.P.P.S.  I’m still only exercising in my dreams.

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10 thoughts on “An Army of Ermas Day

  1. momfog

    The Army of Erma’s sounds like a good group. I haven’t read a whole lot of Erma Bombeck, but I know a few quotes. My favorite is, “If you can laugh at it, you can live with it.” It’s kind of my motto.

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Stacey Appreciation Day?! I’ll see you all at Costco! « Harley May

  3. JLC

    Ohhh! Fit-Flops! *runs to store* Thanks so much for being a member of the Ermas! I totally remember that Christmas post!

    Reply
  4. Stace

    Well now I want a pair of Fit-Flops.

    Thank you, Sugar! We’re lucky to have you! Now bring mama the remote, her little arms are tired from all this typing.

    Reply
  5. Pingback: melaniehoo | Leading by Example

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