Hello…is anyone out there?

I have so little to say that I could cover thirty-two pages with my ihavenothingtosay.  It’s a terrible place for me to be in, but it’s even worse for you, the reader.

The only way to efficiently download my mind is to use bullets.  Is that ok with you?

* It’s just before one o’clock in the afternoon and I’m drinking warm milk and honey.  My stomach turned on me and I have one the very worst cases of heartburn you can imagine.  I have holes in my stomach, esophagus, heart, and lungs.

Not really, but it feels close to that much drama.

I stayed up most of the night chugging Malox.  Now I’m out.  I had Prilosec, but the moment a pill dissolved in my stomach it made me want to puke.  I threw the pills away, because puking is worse than heartburn.  I may head over to CVS and peruse the antacids.  This is what life in my thirties has been reduced to.  Come Lord Jesus, Come.

**  I was away for a little while.  Did you miss me?  We had a great trip to Virginia and I took zero pictures.  Ok, I took like three, but they are doosies.  What kind of a tourist am I anyway?  I can’t believe I allowed my camera to just sit slumped in the bottom of my purse.

How absolutely pathetic is this?

One of my only photos and I photographed a buffet.  I hate buffets…like really hate, but this one was actually good.  The food tasted like real food, but the highlight was that chocolate fountain.

I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.  The promise land does not only flow with milk and honey, but it also flows with chocolate.

You heard it here first.

They had real ripe strawberries to dip in that fountain.  RIPE.  We don’t get those up here in the North Country.

This trip was mostly business and my kids were really good.  I do have one funny story about my son, but I’ll save it until tomorrow (or the day after…you know the roll I’ve been on).  It involves the nicest elderly couple in the world and a fart.  There’s really nothing more to say, but I’m sure I can dress those words up a bit.

On our trip we saw Liberty University.  I was very impressed.  We actually stayed in Lynchburg, a lovely city.  It’s a combination of old town city and new southern sprawl, depends on which side of town you’re on.  I tried not to let on that I was a Yankee, but they smelled my northern blood a mile away.

For the record, I can make biscuits and sausage gravy and I can cook grits.  That’s worth something, I’d say.

***  On the forty-five hour drive home, folded into a Toyota, we stopped in Maryland to see a high school buddy of my husbands.  They have not seen each other since dinosaurs roamed the earth and wooly mammoths were flash frozen.  These reunions can go either way.  Sometimes it’s all awkward and politeness and oh look at the time, I’ve got to be off.

Not this time.

These guys were the kind of people that you want keep in your close circle of friends.  We had such a nice time.  If Maryland were closer to NoWhere New York, we’d eat lots of BBQ together every chance we could.

It’s nice when old friends can be new friends.  You know?

****  I really wanted to stop and see Jennifer Jo of Mama’s Minutia on the way down.  We nearly drove right past her house, but we were on a bit of a time constraint and we hit two terrible areas of traffic in Pennsylvania.  Boo road work.

One day I’m going to take that trip of exotic travel with a cow and a bus and tour the country (and Canada) visiting bloggers.  That would just be utterly fabulous.

*****  Oh, my goodness!  I just realized how terribly long this post is already.  I’ll stop now while you still like me.  Tune in tomorrow for part two of the ’empty head’ download.


12 thoughts on “Hello…is anyone out there?

  1. Amber

    Nothing is better than a bulleted list!! So you went to Maryland, where I live. Then you have the nerve to go to Lynchburg, where my family is & where I go a couple times a year!!! Welcome to my favorite places. 😉 My cousin graduated from Liberty and I adore Lynchburg. Glad you had a good time!

    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      Amber! I can’t believe this. Where do you live in Maryland?? Maybe we can hook up on my next trip south. After all, we always have to drive through at least a little piece of Maryland. Lynchburg really seems like a great place.

  2. Jill

    I’ve been absent from blogland myself lately. Make sure that cow and bus tour comes through Florida! Except you’ll have to leave the cow at the edge of the subdivision because the HOA doesn’t allow pets that large. : )

  3. momfog

    “I tried not to let on that I was a Yankee, but they smelled my northern blood a mile away.”

    I bet it was farther away than that. Identifying a Yankee comes as easy as breathing down here. 🙂

  4. Charming's Mama

    Hello, I’m still here even though we were gone also. Spent a lovely week with my in-laws in MN. No internet, spotty cell phone coverage and no Starbucks! Truly lovely.

    Ah chocolate . . . what’s not to like, and a chocolate buffet. Heaven I’m sure.

    Don’t forget me on that cow bus tour or I’ll be very sad.

  5. Lynda M O

    If only chocolate did not give me migraine the next day. I had to stop eating choc and drinking coffee when I realized they were the culprits in that blasted banging hammer in my head. I miss them profoundly some days. I like your blog, only recently found you and subscribed.

  6. Judy Brodie

    I can’t believe you were in Lynchburg! Technically our address is Forest. I hope you enjoyed your stay. I love it here (being from Upstate NY.) I guess you missed the earthquake yesterday. PTL there were no deaths anywhere due to this. Come back again!


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