I have so little to say that I could cover thirty-two pages with my ihavenothingtosay. It’s a terrible place for me to be in, but it’s even worse for you, the reader.
The only way to efficiently download my mind is to use bullets. Is that ok with you?
* It’s just before one o’clock in the afternoon and I’m drinking warm milk and honey. My stomach turned on me and I have one the very worst cases of heartburn you can imagine. I have holes in my stomach, esophagus, heart, and lungs.
Not really, but it feels close to that much drama.
I stayed up most of the night chugging Malox. Now I’m out. I had Prilosec, but the moment a pill dissolved in my stomach it made me want to puke. I threw the pills away, because puking is worse than heartburn. I may head over to CVS and peruse the antacids. This is what life in my thirties has been reduced to. Come Lord Jesus, Come.
** I was away for a little while. Did you miss me? We had a great trip to Virginia and I took zero pictures. Ok, I took like three, but they are doosies. What kind of a tourist am I anyway? I can’t believe I allowed my camera to just sit slumped in the bottom of my purse.
How absolutely pathetic is this?
One of my only photos and I photographed a buffet. I hate buffets…like really hate, but this one was actually good. The food tasted like real food, but the highlight was that chocolate fountain.
I thought I’d died and gone to heaven. The promise land does not only flow with milk and honey, but it also flows with chocolate.
You heard it here first.
They had real ripe strawberries to dip in that fountain. RIPE. We don’t get those up here in the North Country.
This trip was mostly business and my kids were really good. I do have one funny story about my son, but I’ll save it until tomorrow (or the day after…you know the roll I’ve been on). It involves the nicest elderly couple in the world and a fart. There’s really nothing more to say, but I’m sure I can dress those words up a bit.
On our trip we saw Liberty University. I was very impressed. We actually stayed in Lynchburg, a lovely city. It’s a combination of old town city and new southern sprawl, depends on which side of town you’re on. I tried not to let on that I was a Yankee, but they smelled my northern blood a mile away.
For the record, I can make biscuits and sausage gravy and I can cook grits. That’s worth something, I’d say.
*** On the forty-five hour drive home, folded into a Toyota, we stopped in Maryland to see a high school buddy of my husbands. They have not seen each other since dinosaurs roamed the earth and wooly mammoths were flash frozen. These reunions can go either way. Sometimes it’s all awkward and politeness and oh look at the time, I’ve got to be off.
Not this time.
These guys were the kind of people that you want keep in your close circle of friends. We had such a nice time. If Maryland were closer to NoWhere New York, we’d eat lots of BBQ together every chance we could.
It’s nice when old friends can be new friends. You know?
**** I really wanted to stop and see Jennifer Jo of Mama’s Minutia on the way down. We nearly drove right past her house, but we were on a bit of a time constraint and we hit two terrible areas of traffic in Pennsylvania. Boo road work.
One day I’m going to take that trip of exotic travel with a cow and a bus and tour the country (and Canada) visiting bloggers. That would just be utterly fabulous.