It’s Raining Cats & Dogs & Long-Fanged Mice

Today is Wednesday (just in case you misplaced your calendar) and it’s raining cats and dogs.  Apparently the cats chased in the mice, because I either have one very hungry mouse or a gang of fang-toothed rats.  I prefer to think it’s a simple house mouse, but I’m having nightmares of Mickey scurrying through my kitchen and chewing holes through my cabinet doors.  It’s not so fine.

This long-fanged rat/ house-mouse hybrid ate entire bag of Ramen Noodles.  One small part of me is thankful I won’t have to eat that bag of Ramen and the other part, the much larger part, is totally freaked out.  I fear for my children’s lives.  I may not be able to sleep again until winter is over.  Not that winter has officially begun, but my son did ask me to take out his winter clothes because he’s cold.  I just put those clothes away eight weeks ago.  Eight weeks people!  This is why humans should not live above the Mason-Dixon line.

In other news, we started school on Monday.  It was Labor Day after all.  I’m easing myself the kids into the whole back-to-school routine.  We only worked for half a day on Monday and Tuesday.  Today I’m not so sure about, because I’m counting the pages and doing the Math (with the calculator I will not allow my children to use) and figure we have about nine thousand days of school ahead of us this year.  I’m not sure how it will all work out, but I hope the numbers balance better than my check book.

Does anyone else feel like it’s not fair that we have to go back to school already?

I mean, where did summer go?  Tell me she’s hiding behind the next town, because I’ve already lost what little color the sun gave me and it’s not even Halloween.  I’m not supposed to look like a ghost for at least another seven weeks.

I figure that’s how much longer we have to live through the dreaded fall allergy (imightdieofthecough) season.  My daughter is hacking like a crow with bronchitis and thanks to my allergy shots, my arms look like a medical experiment gone terribly wrong.  Nobody seems to know what to do when my arms swell to the size of the grape clusters from The Promised Land.  That worries me a tad, but I try not think about it when my heart is pounding an abnormal rhythm to the beat of epinephrine.  Before long everything living will be buried under ten tons of snow and I’ll forget anything green, gold, or purple ever grew in this region of the world anyway.

I just hope I figure out a way to help the mice live comfortably outside in all that snow.  My kids may be making miniature ice-castles in the backyard that I fill with peanut-butter, cheese, and Ramen Noodles, because my mice seems to have a thing for Chinese food.   I’ll be sleeping on the kitchen island every night with a shotgun and a flashlight just in case they try to re-enter.

A shotgun is overkill you say?
Mickey Mouse vinyl

(photo via Flicker.com  http://flic.kr/p/bq1n8)

You didn’t see the shards of Ramen on my shelf.  If you had, you’d be sending me boxes of bullets and praying for safety in combat, because this is war my friends and I don’t believe in waiting ten years to capture my enemy.

PS. If you’re interested in last year’s long-tail vermin fun, you can read all about it…

My husband didn’t Marry an Ax-Murderer

Attacked by a Nutter-Butter Eating…

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11 thoughts on “It’s Raining Cats & Dogs & Long-Fanged Mice

  1. ladyofthemanse

    Ah yes, school! We did school for two weeks, then had a week of vacation, then came back and did two days (of academics). You can count mixing four batches of cookies (math and science), and baking a cake, as school, can’t you? We’re getting ready for the Fall Fair in town, and much baking is about the place. Oh well, there is next week…but at the rate we’re going, I’ll have to take school to Scotland this fall.

    As for mice–we get them too–often in the Fall. Do they come in to escape the snow? Ewww…nothing worse than finding a hole in your potato bag and a dead mouse inside! I let my husband set the traps.

    Reply
  2. momfog

    Ewww, mice. *shudder* A shotgun might be a tad tame.

    I’m sorry you guys have such bad allergies (my son gets fall/winter allergies, too), but I cannot wish for a longer summer. Living below the Mason Dixon line ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s stinkin’ hot. The sweltering can’t breathe the air but you can drink it kind of hot and nasty. I’ve been sweating for 6 months and I’m sick of it.

    Reply
  3. Deb

    Since you don’t have a cat, how about some poison? I hate and abhor mice too. And where did that summer go? Can’t wait to crank up the heat again. NOT! 😉

    Reply
  4. Charming's Mama

    I am not ready for summer to end either, despite my last post. It has been glorious and I want to hang on to it at least until October then I want an “indian summer”. More mice? How awful, hope you get rid of them soon.

    Reply
  5. Jenn

    So sorry for the nasty allergies….those do tend to make the change of seasons less exciting.

    On another note….you made me laugh with the whole sleeping on the kitchen island with a shotgun and a flashlight. What a picture! Good luck with your mousy endeavors!

    Reply
  6. Laura

    I am absolutely no help to you because I don’t mind mice. I used to save them from my cat and free them (outside of course). Just promise me you won’t use glue traps. I’d rather you get out the shot gun and give him a quick end. Also, the mournful shrieking sound of a glue-trapped-mouse will haunt you forever.
    I’m sorry about your short summer, it’s the same story here. So depressing isn’t it? At least fall is my favourite season…but I’m still not ready for it!

    Reply
  7. Sue, a Florida Farm Girl

    Yep, been there and done that!!! Bless you for taking them on!! And, girl, I get such a charge out of your writing. Please tell me you are working on something we mere mortals can sink our teeth into, so to speak.

    Reply

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