Happy Ever After, Day #2 – 31 Days of Happy

I am happily married.

That doesn’t mean that every single day of our marriage has been pure bliss.  We’ve had problems just like every other couple in the history of mankind, but when a problem arises, we work through it, get help if we need it, and continue in the happy {ly} ever after.  We’ve made the decision to stay married, deal with the good and bad, and to focus on doing the things that foster a good relationship, like communicating.

via Pinterest, the4crows.com

Marriage is not easy.  The only marriages that are always stars in the eyes, flowers in the words, and butterflies in the stomach are the marriages Disney creates.  In real life, love is an action word that requires 100% action from me and my husband, or you and your spouse.

This is not a self-help, fix your marriage kind of post.  Did you want one of those today?

Sorry to disappoint.

This is a post to say I am happily married and happy being married.

And also to say, I don’t wear a wedding ring.

It’s true; however, it wasn’t always true.  I have a wedding ring and an engagement ring.  It’s a beautiful set I had soldered together after about four years of marriage and three ring repairs.  My ring has a 1/2 carat diamond in the center with little diamond chips lining the sides.  My wedding band matches with more little diamond chips.  When it’s clean, it sparkles in the light and I get many compliments.  The rest of the time, it’s getting snagged on my sweaters, banged on the washing machine, and dulled with lotion.

I’ve broken my ring no less than five times.  The last time being about two years ago, maybe three.  I haven’t worn my wedding ring since.  I mean, how many times can I break it without losing my diamond?

I am happily married without a ring on my finger.

Not everyone knows that.

A few months back, we took a trip and FringeMan (the preacher) thought I should be wearing a ring for this trip.  It was important to him that on this trip (yes, it was a different sort of trip – another story for another day) I would be proudly displaying my wedding ring.

I think this sudden public display of affection was prompted by the guy who hit on me in the library.  Apparently grocery stores are not the only place to pick up women.  Personally, I was a little grossed out by the entire ordeal.  If you had seen this guy, you would have felt some sympathy for me.  I thought, “Is this what I’m attracting these days?”  It wasn’t good for my self-esteem.  Trust me.

So, as per FringeMan’s request, I went to get my ring fixed.  Of course it would have to be ‘sent out’ for repairs and would cost me close to a hundred dollars.  There were two things I didn’t have – time and an extra hundred bucks.

Looks like I would be ringless.  Although I did promise to hang on FringeMan’s arm and blow kisses to him while he preached, he wasn’t satisfied.  So we went shopping for a cheap ring that could impersonate wedded bliss.

The only part of my body that is naturally thin are my fingers.  Why it couldn’t be my hips, I’ll never understand, but twenty-nine-ish (or so) years ago, God chose to give me skinny fingers.  Just my luck!

Stores only carry rings that are a size seven or above.  My ring size is a five.  And so, my husband, my son, and my daughter ran through every department store in Central New York, trying to find a ring to fit my finger.  I kinda felt like Cinderella, only without the fairy godmother.

Alas, there was no ring in the kingdom (translate mall) to fit my finger.

Are rings the only symbol of I do, I did, and I will till death does us part?

Fourteen years of marriage was almost lost, until FringeMan found a pair of clip-on earrings with two little circles hanging from them.

“Eureka!”  He shouted.  “Try this on.”

“The earring?”

The doubt in my voice was audible.

“Isn’t fourteen years, two kids, a house, and a dog (may she drive the other family crazy for many more years) enough?”

“No.  Try this earring on your finger.”

So I bought a set of clip on earrings, broke off the earring, and slipped the little silver “O” onto my finger.  I felt happily married, until my mother came over.

She basically told me that my attempt at good wifery looked like a cheap piece of metal.

Crap!  I’m back to blowing kisses for the entire thirty-five minutes between Sunday morning announcements and the final prayer.

Thankfully a roving band of carnival gypsies took over our town for the two days before my trip.  I managed to find a gen*U*ine silver band with an etched design of  forever love, all for under twenty bucks.

I still forget to wear my ring, but I am happy ever after.  I don’t need gold or diamonds to be happy.  All I need is FringeMan.

Come back tomorrow for another installment of 31 Days of Happy.  BTW, Sarah from Life in the Parsonage is also participating.  Go get happy with her too!

PS.  I made that 31 Days of Happy Sign.  It’s ugly isn’t it?  Sometimes even ugly can make me happy.  It all depends on the hormone mood.


9 thoughts on “Happy Ever After, Day #2 – 31 Days of Happy

  1. ~Karen

    I have very small hands also.My engagement ring was size 1. I think my wedding ring was the same.After having two kids, my fingers were bigger. So much so, that I had to have the rings cut off. For a while I didn’t wear anything on my fingers, because we didn’t have the money for resizing. After a few guys decided to flirt with me, I decided I needed to do the resizing of my engagement ring. I bought a new wedding ring. I am a size 5 ring now!

    It’s always nice to know that you aren’t the only one. 🙂

  2. ladyofthemanse

    I have the opposite problem from you–completely! After 15 years of marriage I have fatter fingers than I did, and I can’t get my rings OFF.

    When I was pregnant, my husband bought me a gold band to wear. I wore it through two pregnancies, and then alas, lost it. I sure could use a bigger band now.

    Guess in my case I’m really married for better or for worse! But that’s okay because I’m happily married too.

  3. decoybetty

    I just got my engagement ring and I already worry about how I’ll feel i I lose it or break it or it snags on things. But I also quite adore it having only been wearing it for 4 days, feel naked without it.


  4. Laura

    As I type this comment my husband spontaneously broke out into ‘the running man’. Felt I needed to share.
    I used to forget my ring all the time. I always take it off to shower, do dishes, paint nails, wax, put on hand cream. I thread it on to my watch strap and set it on the bathroom counter. Twice I’ve bought cheapie rings because I felt too naked without it while at work…. and I don’t want to start rumors. One that I got is really pretty but it’s slightly too small for my 51/2 ring finger. I’ll send it down to you and see if you can get some use out of it!

  5. Mindy

    I am impressed with your sign. Not because it’s pretty (cough, cuz it’s not)…but, because you figured out how to do that. It’s fancy. I’ll give you that, for sure. Yup. Fringeman needs to splurge on a plain band for you, next anniversary. That’d be my vote. In the mean time, continue on with the happy. Loving it! ~Mindy


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