America obsesses with cutting fat and self-help. Don’t worry ladies, I’m not even hinting at cutting out chocolate and potato chips. I’m talking about fat in writing.
I’ve sat through all the college classes that taught me to cut unnecessary words (obviously I pay no mind to those rules) and eliminate ‘fat’ from our articles. Heaven forbid our story is a size 14 instead of a size 4.
Most editors would die of fright if they were assigned my blog or yours. They like neat little concise gifts of journalism in 500 words or less.
We’re losing something. As we cut fat, slivers of meat follow. Suddenly our writing is skin and bones, absolutely boring to look at and tiring to read.
Magazines are filled with countless self-help articles.
How My Woodstove Ruined My Nails in 300 Words
Help Johnny Overcome His Fear of The Toilet in 5 Flushes
10 Ways to Say I Love You, but I Hate Your Dog
Be Bikini Ready in Time for Your Grave
Don’t even tell me you only read Christian literature, because it’s just as bad.
Knowing God’s Will in Ninety Days
7 Ways to Raise Kids Who Will Attend Church
12 Envelopes to Financial Freedom
How To Masquerade as a Proverbs 31 Woman in 31 Days
We’re obsessed with these heartless, but neatly wrapped articles that help us do everything from birth a baby in a bathtub to walk the streets of gold in stilettos.
Is anyone else tired of reading this gibberish?
Maybe it’s just me. I kind of long for the days when slighty wordy short stories, written by aspiring writers, appeared in monthly magazines. I’d like for people to stop fixing me and start entertaining me with words, or challenging my depth of knowledge without planning my next 10, 30, or 90 days.
I honestly do not think most magazines are worth the $4.95 we are asked to pay for them.
Don’t even get me started on newspapers!
I’m always amazed when I read an article, glom all kinds of superficial facts and have no idea what is really going on or why the article was written in the first place.
Most of our print news media is self-help or tabloid, and I include CNN in that tabloid lot. Take a gander at the headlines.
Come to think of it, I should have written this article in the format of –
8 Ways The Media Failed Me and My Fat
Alas, my rant is over in less than 500 words. My editor will be pleased.
Thoughts and comments welcome, as long as they are in 3 Easy Steps or Less. 😉