Bat Blood on My Couch

Good glory the end is near!

There was a bat in my house tonight.  A. BAT!

Help me Lord.  This is not funny.  I don’t deal well with wild animals, especially wild animals that carry rabies and fly around in the night.  One lone bat could fly into my hair and get lost for a week.  I don’t know what I would do if that happened, but lighting my hair on fire would not be too extreme.

That bat could have flown into my children’s rooms and sucked their very life from their small pumping veins.  Oh, wait.  Maybe that’s a vampire. Same difference in my book.

Now we don’t know how the bat entered the house, a small unknown that will keep me up for the next three months straight.  Most likely, it came in on a pile of wood my son carried in from the garage after school.  He filled a tote with wood, brought it in and then filled another tote and placed it on top of the first.  All evening I’ve thrown wood on the fire from the top tote, but I came up to bed to do Zentangle.  FringeMan removed the top tote, so the bat could have warmed itself by my fire and then taken flight to kill us all.

I may never rest easy again.

I know some of you have had bats in your houses and attics, but I really, really, really don’t even like mosquitoes let alone a flying creature of the night.

FringeMan was sitting in his recliner doing schoolwork when something whizzed past his head.  He felt the breeze, heard the sound (deadly wings flapping in the night).  When he looked up, he realize there was a bat in the room, so he went and got the dustpan.  He knocked it out of the air and it landed on its back on my couch.  My NEW couch.  Could this story get any more gruesome?

Yes, because then he scooped it into one of my nice big glass mugs.  You know my lips ain’t ever touching that.  After he released the bat, the mug went right to the trash, the outside trash.

The funny thing is that I was upstairs with a set of headphones in my ears listening to classical music.  Classical music.  Could this night get any weirder?  I don’t even like classical music.  Apparently FringeMan was downstairs yelling for me the entire time.  I heard not a sound.  Thank you FringeMan for being my knight in shining armor and slaying my dragons bats.

I’m still totally freaking out.  Like gag me with a spoon and throw bat blood on my couch.

Thankfully there’s no blood on the couch.  If there were, you would hear my wails of anguish.

Now please excuse me while I go sell my house and move anywhere bats do not live.

Do you have one, a story with a wild animal invading your privacy?  Share it please.  Tell me you had a brush with nature and lived to tell the tale.


20 thoughts on “Bat Blood on My Couch

  1. ladyofthemanse

    We’ve had a few bat experiences–chasing them around the basement when they came down out of the walls, hearing scratching noises in the night (as the bat crawled up the furnace ducts and through our vent into the room) and waking up at 5 am to a bat on the window blind about two feet from my face(!). (My husband says I screamed, and I’m not a screamer by nature.) We chased that one with a bug net as it flew around the ceiling fan, and eventually caught it. The next time I saw one was after it crawled through a hole in the porch and fell into a container left to catch drips. I stuck a book over the top of the container and left it for my husband to deal with.

    By the way, bats can squeeze through very small cracks. They just fold up small.

    Oh yes, the squeaking, screeching noises in church one Sunday night….that was a bat that got through the cool air return sometime and then managed to get itself stuck in the door hinge. Boy did I hear it when I swung the door open when I came to clean that week! When we came back to deal with that one, my husband found it dead on the floor.

  2. Mary

    Is that a big glass mug??? Oh, yes, it is! I could not believe you would put a bat in there, and I was going to warn you to throw it out.

    We once had a bat in our garage. It was just hanging there on a rafter. My knight poked it off with a stick and put it in a peanut butter jar. I’m not clear what exactly took place, but at some point the jar was on the porch, and the cat was investigating it. I was grossed out, but I could not look away. I saw that cat torture that bat for quite awhile, oh, and bats can scream, did you know? The fracas ended with the cat eating the bat from head to tail and everything in between. Wings, claws, everything. We theorize the cat thought he had a mouse with wings.

    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      No worries! The mug is in the trash. I would NEVER drink from it again. It is my big glass mug though. No respect for my glassware, I tell ya. I had an empty coffee can that would have worked just fine, but FringeMan said we wouldn’t be able to see it then and take pictures. That’s my life. 😉

      Cat + Bat = Bad Mix

  3. tckk

    Isn’t it just a blast to have little creatures visiting in your home. NOT!!

    We get mice from time to time. Had one just this week. He is no longer a living part of this world, if you get my drift! haha

    My daughter had a mole in her room over Christmas break. It’s about like a mouse, but no tail. She captured it with a bowl. Had to catch it twice. It came back after she released it the first time. The second time she took it a lot farther away to release it. It’s probably visiting some other poor soul now.

  4. Jill

    I freaked just reading your title for this post! And my first thought at seeing the picture was, “is that a drinking glass?” My husband and sons likewise have no consideration for household belongings when dealing with creepy-crawlies. Guess if you want them to be your knight, you have to settle for whatever tools they choose. : )

  5. Adventures of a Middle Age Mom

    My non-English speaking Italian girlfriend had a bat in her home. She called me shrieking, only I didn’t know what was wrong since she wasn’t speaking English. I jumped in the car/drove to her home. she met me at the door with a towel on her head and a broom in her hand…I can definitely picture you looking like that if you were home alone and on bat disposal duty! Give that hubby of yours a huge hug!
    P.S. I got rid of said bat.

  6. Deb

    Ooh I hate bats. In the summer someone leaves the door open in the evening. NOT ME! A bat flies in and lands on a corner cabinet in the dining room. My husband comes and gets me with a towel on his head but I, yes I must dispose of said bat. Shudder! I had to do it because he would not. This happened twice. Yes twice! Now in the evening I stand guard at the door making sure it is not left open again. Do you know the bats now have some disease and are dying? True story and I believe in God’s mysterious ways. 😉

  7. Dawn W

    Early in our marriage and living in Virginia, we had an indoor/outdoor kitty. He loved to bring me “gifts.” Dead gifts. Usually very small dead baby lizards that he’d take back outside after I’d fuss. One morning, I let him into our apartment. He looked up at me and made a small, funny sound. His mouth was closed and I saw nothing. Without warning, he deposited his newest gift onto my bare feet… a live baby snake. My screams awakened our upstairs neighbor who knew I was usually home alone at that time and he assumed I was being assaulted by an intruder. I was, in a way. He came running to the rescue in nothing but his boxers.

    Now we live in Texas where I’ve been repeatedly warned that snakes in the house are a very real possibility. Thankfully, we haven’t had any. Actually, I haven’t even seen a snake in the nine years we’ve lived here. Good thing – my heart couldn’t take another attack like that!

  8. jodaley

    Makes me positively shudder! That is one animal that gives me the heebie jeebies. A friend of ours sent us a picture from Nepal…she is standing beside a bat that must be two feet tall. I can hardly write that. I’m glad your knight was available to come to the rescue!


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