I’m on a diet. That should be explanation enough for any weird moods and hallucinations of cheeseburgers. I find myself googling every yummy food known to man in order to get a calorie count, only to realize I cannot eat it, because diets only let you eat the caloric equivalent of a piece of unbuttered toast and water.
I’m beginning to think liposuction doesn’t sound so bad after all. So what if they have to gash a whole in your body, insert a vacuum hose, and suck until they hit bone, it’s gotta be an outpatient procedure nowadays. Doesn’t it? The only drawback is I have every bit of confidence that I could replace all that fat within a year. That, and then there’s the money, and the cutting. Ya, I should never underestimate someone taking a scalpel to my skin.
So I’m back to being on a diet. This time it’s for real. It’s not just a reconnaissance mission to take back my thighs. I’m taking back my whole chubby self, double chin and all. I hope there’s an exchange policy on flab.
I’m down twelve pounds. Doesn’t seem like much, but I did fit comfortably back into a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in quite some time. The bummer is I’ve decided I hate the jeans. Go figure! It’s just my luck. I’m stuck wearing jeans that are a size too big or jeans I hate. Now I’m going to have to lose another size so I can justify buying a new pair. That’s all there is too it.
Here are some things I’ve learned since being on a diet.
1. Calories count, so count your calories. (I just made that up this second, but doesn’t it sound like a slogan from a diet plan?)
2. You can sit by and watch your family eat goodies and say NO. You will live to have another Oreo cookie.
3. Exercise can be as simple as taking a walk with your family, but don’t overestimate the amount of calories you burned on your walk. It was probably like ten.
4. Food is not your enemy, appetite is your enemy. What you need and want you want are drastically different.
5. Eat foods that are full of good things like fiber and protein.
6. If you’re hungry, drink some water and wait a while. If you’re still hungry, eat something, but make sure the calories are counted in your overall total for the day.
7. Eat for the right reasons. In my family, we tend to overeat just because something tastes good. “It tastes so good” is not enough reason to eat more.
8. Fad diets are not for me. I won’t stick to them for more than three days. I have to eat regular (to me) foods or else I won’t achieve long-term success. Translate: Find a meal plan that works into your budget, lifestyle, and taste.
9. No one may notice your accomplishments, but keep going. Brainwash your child into telling you, at least once a day, you look thinner.
10. Make baby step goals. If I tell myself that I need to lose twenty pounds, I’ll quit before I even start. So I tell myself five pounds and then another five. I’m three pounds away from my next goal.
Believe me, I’m no dieting expert. I’m one of those women who actually enjoys eating, and it’s downright shocking how much food I can consume when I don’t stop myself. I do not have a fast metabolism and dare I admit this, being a bit overweight doesn’t even bother me that much when I look in the mirror. I don’t care enough to lose the weight. What makes me diet from time to time is that I feel bad when I’m overweight. Carrying around an extra ten, fifteen, or twenty pounds makes a huge difference. It’s a difference I can feel when I’m sitting down and bending over. It’s uncomfortable and I hate being uncomfortable in my own skin.
I don’t think weight management is necessarily about a number. It’s about getting to a place where you feel good. I suspect when you feel good, you’ll look good too.