Sometimes I think Martha Stewart and her perky little hand-stitched minions are the masterminds behind Pinterest.
Once upon a time, like thirty years ago, it was perfectly sufficient to slap peanut butter and store-bought jelly on a slice of store-bought bread, throw it on a paper plate, pour a glass of milk and call your kid to lunch. For dessert an unpeeled, uncut apple found its way into little Johnny’s hand. Kids grew and mother’s did other motherly things free from guilt.
Fast forward to the age of the internet, Martha Stewart Living, and Pinterest. Now we, the offspring of our mother’s PB&J sandwiches, must bake our own bread, press our own home-grown peanuts, and work these ingredients into an art form comparable to the sixth day of creation. And, please don’t forget to include avocado! It may green and gross (no offense to you green and gross lovers), but you will not be one of Mrs. Obama’s friends unless avocado is present, be it sliced, smooshed, or smashed.
All I want is the truth people.
Do you really cut your kid’s lunch up to look like an Old McDonald’s Farm field trip?
Am I just a total slacker?
I know I sheltered my children from the pricey likes of squeeze yogurt and string cheese, but once in a while I actually splurge for those straws that turn your milk into strawberry, chocolate, or cookies & cream. (Thank you Laura for introducing my children to such culinary delights.) I just don’t chop down my own tree, make paper in my bathtub, roll straws, let them dry in natural light (with plenty of organic sunscreen), grow my own strawberries, dry them into tiny little bits of flavor and fill the straws. I just buy them for $1.98 a pack in Walmart.
Is that so bad?
I love that Pinterest wants us to make our Frosty’s and french fries all summer long, but all I really want is to go to Wendy’s sometimes and spend the eight dollars for four Frosty’s. My kids like them. I like them. I don’t have to wash the blender that made them.
For heaven’s sake, let’s lower the bar just a bit before my kids expect their brown bag (kidding, brown bags are wasteful…I meant reusable lunch bags made from old plastic water bottles) lunch to look like their pet Betta fish.
So, really now, do you do it?
Do you cut the sandwich to look like a less violent, more tolerant Bugs Bunny or do you just pin the pictures so everyone will think you do?
You can be honest here. You’re among lazy, sometimes wasteful, green and gross hating friends.
Please help me manage the expectations of children everywhere!