Living in The Twilight Zone

Sometimes I feel like I’m living in the Twilight Zone.  Kids are acting like adults and adults are wearing pajamas to Walmart and blasting the music in their cars.  Is the entire world upside down?

After this post, maybe you’ll feel a little like that too, because my topics have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

First, It’s What I Wore Wednesday and I’m joining with the Pleated Poppy to show you what I wore, for two days anyway, but those days are a good representation of the entire week.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you know I’m not a fashionista, but I do get dressed, so that’s gotta count for something.  Right?

Polka Dot GAP dress

I bought this dress in a GAP outlet about six years ago.  I still love it.  It’s comfy and so easy, but it’s showing wear.  There’s a little whole in the skirt now, probably because it has been washed two hundred times.  The sandals came from a thrift store two years ago and cost me $1.  I don’t think they’ll make it past this summer, but I feel as though I’ve gotten my monies worth.

Shorts & a tee

I’m not a fan of shorts on me.  My legs are certainly not in good enough shape to showcase, but it’s hot.  Enough said.  The shorts were $9.88 from a local sporting goods store and I borrowed the t-shirt from my daughter.  Fain-cy, huh?  And yes, that’s a whopping bruise on my leg.  You should see my other thigh.  It actually looks worse, but hurts less.  It’s my battle wound from The Laundry Wars.  I’m wearing it with pride.

Back to the real reason I am posting…

Why are we pushing our kids to grow up so quickly?

My son’s best friend, who just finished the 5th grade, is on a date with his girlfriend tonight.  My daughter’s best friends, who are 9 year-old twins, are wearing makeup every day and drinking coffee on a regular basis.  They’ve also read The Hunger Games.

Now you know I loved The Hunger Games and allowed my twelve-year old to read the books, but I told my daughter she must wait until she is twelve to read the books.

Why are we in such a hurry to turn our kids into short adults?

Should nine year old girls be wearing makeup everyday?  It’s one thing to play dress up and dream of the days when you’re a mature woman of sixteen, but nine is a little young for eyeshadow.  At least in my opinion.

Let’s talk dating too.  What parent lets their fourth or fifth grade daughter go out on a date with a boy?

Would you let your daughter?  Because, I’m thinking thirty might be young for my little girl.

Believe it or not, I’m not ninety and I don’t think we should live in the dark ages, but are we pushing things a bit?

Maybe if fifth graders weren’t dating, seventh graders wouldn’t be having sex?

I guess it’s old-fashioned thinking or something.  I’ve just seen one too many kids pushing a baby carriage.

So no, my sixth grader isn’t dating anyone.  Blame his parents.  And, my fourth grader isn’t wearing makeup, drinking lattes, and flirting with the sixth grade boys.  Blame her parents.

Maybe, just maybe, we should let kids be kids so that when they become adults, they can act like adults.

Ok, enough of my rant.  Go visit Pleated Poppy, Transatlantic Blonde, and Woestmans for some fashion inspiration.

And feel free to share your thoughts on kids.  I’m interested to see what everyone else is thinking.

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37 thoughts on “Living in The Twilight Zone

  1. Angie Vik

    Last week I saw on Facebook that my ten-year-old nephew went from being single to being in a relationship. Just what would a ten-year-old know about being in a relationship? One of my husband and I’s core values is that we want to let our kids be kids for as long as they can. They grow up too fast these days and we want to slow it down where ever possible.

    Reply
  2. julee

    I am with you 100%. It’s scary. It blows my mind. Blows.My.Mind. I’m an old fashioned, curmudgeon, stick-in-the-mud mom, and I’m ok with that. My 9-year old still acts like a little kid, and I’m more than ok with that, too.

    Reply
  3. Missindeedy

    Oh dear – this topic is near and dear to my former-3rd-grade-teacher heart. Yes and Amen. The end. Seriously, what in the blue blazes are 9 year olds doing drinking coffee? Why? Whatever for? Good on ya’ for letting your girlie make the choice about shaving and good on her for choosing to wait. It’s a tough road to navigate once theyre on it. Dating in 5th grade, you say? One on one dating? Not in this family Although I agree that making anything taboo is going to drive many kiddos right to “it”, I also strongly believe that our job is to instill a sense of self-confidence that is Rock solid. Parenthood… not for the faint of heart, is it?

    Reply
  4. Sara

    YES!! Thank you for posting this!! I’m SO TIRED of our society treating kids as if they’re little adults. And I’m tired of parents who refuse to accept parental responsibility and protect their children!! Your children are not mini-you’s, they’re not there for you to relive your youth and they’re not your bff’s!! When I taught 3rd grade for a semester last year I had to have the counselor come talk to the kids because they were trying to “date”. 3RD GRADE!! Seriously? And make-up at 9? I wasn’t even allowed to shave my legs until I was 12! Talk about embarrassing!! 🙂 Children need to be allowed a childhood. They need their innocence protected, they need to play and explore and dream big dreams. They need to be sheltered and nurtured, not thrown to the wolves of consumerism and narcissism. Okay, I’ll stop ranting, but you’ve definitely struck a nerve with me. 🙂 Good for you for posting this. I think it should become an entire series! 🙂

    Reply
  5. The Lumberjack's Wife

    I am totally with you on the kids growing up too fast thing . . . . it is craziness. We homeschool, so it is not a huge problem right now for us, but it is still tricky. I have also given up shorts for similar reasons that you stated in your very post.
    And yet, I found myself wearing them this week in the HEAT.
    Ah, well.

    Reply
  6. housewifehowtos

    First, I love that dress. It’s adorable, and looks so cute on you!

    As for makeup and dating in grade school? NO! My daughter (who’s now in college) whined and complained when I wouldn’t let her wear makeup until she was 13. When she finally reached that age, she realized it was a bit more special for having waited. Likewise, when she was “finally” allowed to date at 15 — while her friends had been going out for a couple of years — she said she was glad we’d had her wait because it took her self-confidence (and ability to resist pressure) a while to catch up.

    My son, who’s now 12, has never questioned that he has to wait until he’s 15 to date. Then again, he still thinks girls are yucky.

    Reply
  7. Melaina25

    I LOVE that polka dot dress! I think lip gloss or makeup for ballet recitals/plays is one thing in the 6 grade but not everyday. I think in Jr High I was allowed clear mascara which I think is acceptable. Dating in 6th grade for me meant a boy asked you out and you said yes and then nothing else ever happened lol.

    Reply
  8. tckk

    I agree with you. My youngest is 17 and still is not allowed to “date”. She has a boyfriend and he can come to church with her or they can talk on the phone (time is limited on this too) and they can do youth functions together. Probably most think we’re too hard, but I think 18 is early enough to date. There is too much pressure on our kids to do what everyone else is and I don’t want that for my girls. Maybe I try to hard to protect them, but isn’t that my job as a mother?

    Reply
  9. muddledmom

    My kids complain about these same issues. All of their friends get to do it and they don’t. Luckily I know some of their friends’ parents and I am nosy and ask a lot of questions, like What time do your kids go to bed at night?, Do you check your kids’ homework?, Do you let your kids watch PG-13 movies? Then when my kids say they are the only ones who don’t get to do something, I tell them the truth. ; ) No, I don’t think little girls need to dress like that. I don’t dress like that! Thankfully, most girls at school don’t seem to be wearing make-up, so I’m hoping it won’t be much of an issue till middle school. Dating? NO. I will not even consider that until high school is looming!

    Reply
  10. Jennifer Jo

    Wow! You struck a hot topic!

    But I’m just commenting to say that your fall through the ceiling was part of our dinner conversation last night. When I mentioned that you neglected to think to take a photo, my husband said, “She could reenact it.” So there you have it—no excuses.

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      LOL! I’m not sure my leg can handle another pass through the floor again, but it might be worth a shot. 😉 It really would have been a great picture though.

      I guess it is a hot topic. BUT, you didn’t give us your take on the matter! I’d totally be interested to hear that. 🙂

      Reply
  11. Tiffany

    Amen, sister!! For reals. It’s ridiculous how fast girls and boys want to grow up. I know a few girls who wear makeup and talk about boys all the time and all I can think is that they have their ENTIRE life for that! These kids just need to be kids and enjoy their childhood. I can guarantee you my little girl won’t be wearing makeup or dating till she’s 15 or 16. And dating? I don’t even want to thik about it!

    Reply
  12. Sue, a Florida Farm Girl

    Oh, girlfriend!! You have hit the nail on the head precisely!! Know a little girl whose mother shaved her legs when she was nine because some boy made a comment. Pushing her to be all sexy from that point forward. And then anybody wonders why kids are promiscuous and having babies. Sex means nothing to them beyond the physical act. Let KIDS BE KIDS!!! They’ll be adults with adult responsibilities long enough, never mind the anguish and heartache they are subjected to. You stick to your guns about your kids staying kids.

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      Funny you should mention leg shaving…my daughter is one hairy kid, but she hasn’t started shaving yet. The kids do talk about her hairy legs A LOT though. I told her she could shave if the kids talking about it really made her feel bad (I figured shaving isn’t such a big deal if this is really an issue in school), but that once you start it’s a forever after kind of thing. She chose to wait. I’m proud of her for being comfortable in her own skin despite what all the other kids think. That’s really what I want to instill in my kids – not to cave to peer pressure or other people’s opinions, but to stand up for themselves and for what is right. Not that shaving your legs is wrong, but you know what I mean. 😉

      Reply
  13. AmberPamper

    Children act like adults because the parents let them. Bottom line. Parents don’t have backbones anymore. They treat their children like they are little celebrities and everything the kid says or does is good, right, or cool. It disgusts me. No makeup until 16 for my child. I celebrate her youthfulness and innocence. It brings me great happiness. My daughter isn’t allowed to date until she is 18 and that is because there should only be one reason for dating, finding your future spouse. This is the difference between Christian parenting and other parenting. As a Christ following parent we are to make sure we are aligning our child up with safe boundaries and rules to keep our child from disaster at all costs. I don’t even want to know what is going on in the brain of a parent who lets a 5th grader go on a date.

    Reply
  14. abozza

    I think this kid must be the exception and not the rule. My girl is 11 and is going into 5th grade in the fall and will NOT be dating OR wearing makeup. I teach in a middle school, and the 6th graders, (and mostly the 7th, for that matter) are not doing these things, either. There are some, but not many, and it’s a huge school. My girl still sleeps with her dolly, loves to snuggle her Mama, and thinks kissing scenes on tv are gross. And, I’d like to keep it that way!
    http://amysreallife.wordpress.com

    Reply
  15. C.M.Hardin

    Great dress 😉 I can’t say I agree with avoiding certain reading material. The written word is the point where I am the most permissive as a parent. The only thing really capable of keeping a book banned at our house is bad prose or worn out tropes filled with cliches and stereotypes. That is to say, the thing I find most offensive about a book is hack writing. Well written books expose my children to the complexities of human interactions and ethical dilemmas before they encounter them in reality. Also, if the book is especially well written, it provides the opportunity to develop a nuanced opinion of aforementioned difficult subject matter.

    Make-up, “dating”, violent gaming, pornography, explicit song lyrics aimed at promoting negative behavior patterns, etc. are another matter. Encouraging young children to adopt the behavior and look of sexually mature individuals strikes me as more than a little perverse.

    I was forced to take “the pill” at 13, among other things, myself. To me, this kind of action on the part of a parent is an affront to the adolescent as an individual.

    The essence of the problem is good vs. bad forms of sheltering a child. Children have to grow up and the more tools for resilience they have, the better they will be able to cope. I try to have an honest and open dialogue with an ample dose of humor. The adult world is pretty absurd, they might as well learn to laugh at it from the start. 😀

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      No fears. I’m not banning The Hunger Games. Just want her to wait until she’s twelve. I try to give my kids lots and lots of age-appropriate reading material. They are very well read (in my opinion), but there are SO MANY good books for them to read that I try to have them read all they can at their age level and then move on. I don’t think my daughter’s ready to read The Hunger Games. She’s more into Little House on the Prairie books. Her time will come.

      “Encouraging young children to adopt the behavior and look of sexually mature individuals strikes me as more than a little perverse.” – I agree 100%.

      I also don’t try to shelter my kids, but I don’t think they need to take on “adult” things before their time. No need. They are kids. And you’re right, this world is pretty absurd.

      Reply
      1. C.M.Hardin

        I was just speaking from my perspective…no worries 🙂 You have to judge your actions based on the unique personalities you are trying to instruct.

        For us, we have read through history books, the lives of saints, and the Bible. Between those three areas, I doubt there is much room for the Hunger Games to sully their opinion of worldly ways. My older boys read somewhere between 26-52 books per year, plus, I read some material to them for discussion.

        This may sound odd, but I try to instruct my children in the hopes that if my husband and I dropped dead tomorrow, they would have the mental agility to navigate a very hostile world. We spend a lot of time picking apart logic problems, reading, and discussing–also volunteering. There are some skills and attitudes where I do very little sheltering, because I know the price of a misstep is potentially huge.

        I guess my point is simply that good parenting is the act of striking a balance. I shelter them from “adult” things where “adult” means immoral rather than mature. 🙂

        Reply
  16. Mariah

    That sounds straight crazy. I was given a choice, at 15, to wear makeup or go on group dates. I chose makeup, and then never really wore it anyhow. Because by 15, I had decided that I liked my face just fun, and make up was for play. And at 16, I was allowed to go on group dates, but the boy had to come to my parents how first. I like how much protection my parents exercised over me, allowing me to be old enough to make the decision before allowing me to make it. Keep ’em home, keep their faces clean, and go play in the mud!

    Reply
  17. momfog

    I work in an elementary school (2nd and 3rd grades) and there are quite a few little girls coming to school in full make-up. It’s ridiculous. I’ve busted my daughter trying to wear make-up in public and I get the obligatory eye roll, but sorry dear, not happening. I let her play dress-up with her sister at home but she’s not leaving the house like that. There are 10 year-olds that have read Twilight, for heaven’s sake. Some parents are out of their ever-lovin’ minds.

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      Oh, I know how kids come to school…Don’t get me started!!!! Second grade boys with pink mohawks and earrings and the girls dress like little women. I won’t even say what I really think. I somehow feel the need to temper my words. 😉

      Reply
    2. C.M.Hardin

      I’m a little worried about the parents who read Twilight–or anyone, really. (Sorry, can’t help myself.) I have let my daughter have a little makeup for performing in little concerts, etc–special occasion, dress-up. If you make it too much of a taboo, you run the risk of generating more interest than might otherwise be present. Just my way of looking at it. Parents who allow their daughters out of the house dressed like cheap crack whores, on the other hand, need an emergency trip to the shrink.

      Reply
      1. the domestic fringe Post author

        lol. She has her own “play” makeup and I think she does a better job with it than I do! It’s sad when a ten year old lines an eye better than a *cough – Ah-Hem* twenty-nine year old. 😉

        Reply
  18. Deb

    The world is a crazy place these days. Kids grow up too fast, then they get bored, and then bad things start to happen. In other news, I think you look great in shorts! 🙂

    Reply
    1. the domestic fringe Post author

      I think you’re right about kids growing up too fast and then getting bored. Sometimes I wonder if parents have lost their ever-loving minds or if I’m just being parsnikity. Either way, I come out looking like the bad guy.

      Thanks for the shorts compliment. They were the longest ones I could find under $10. I figure I’ll wear them out this summer 😉

      Reply
  19. Jessie @ Dream and Differ

    Makeup? Dating? I almost had a heart attack even considering these things! I totally agree with you- my kids won’t be doing any of those things for a loooong time. My daughter is 10, going into 5th grade, and she wanted to read the Hunger Games too. Apparently, a lot of her classmates were reading it. But, like you, I said no. There’s plenty of time to be a grown up, I want them to just be kids while they still can.
    Your dress is darling, by the way!

    Reply

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