Holiday Humor, Day 2

I felt the skin of my armpit stick together like a piece of double-sided tape had somehow made its way to the deep recesses of my underarm. Beads of sweat broke out on my forehead and I went running as inconspicuously as possible through the crowded, candlelit church. I bee-lined for the basement and ran full throttle into my mother.

“Oh, mom! You made it out earlier than expected.” I blurted a quick greeting while pushing her back into the ladies’ room.

“Mary,” draped in Biblical robes, was stealing one last check in the mirror before taking center stage in the manger. I frantically lifted my arms and stuck my nose into my pits; my worst fears came to fruition. Lady’s Speed stick failed me!

It was the worst case scenario. I completely forgot to use deodorant. My mother’s eyes bugged and she swung her head in shame as I announced that although I forgot to use deodorant, I took a shower within the hour.

“Do you think I smell already?” The questioned mainly directed at the woman who birthed me.

Before I knew what was happening…continue reading


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