Tag Archives: Super Bowl

On Parenting, Cherry M&M’s, and all the Reasons I Need An Intervention

Source: littlewhitelion.com via Tricia on Pinterest

I’m skipping the whole Hello Monday thing today.  I tried, I really did, but I am suffering from a million calorie hangover brought on by all the ridiculous food I ate last night.  Let’s face it, I only like the Super-Bowl for the food, and the commercials, but I didn’t get to see the commercials because we watched it online.  No cable and all.

I did, however, get to see the half-time show.  Forgive me for laughing out loud at a few of Beyonce’s exaggerated bootie calls.  Ok?

So I tried really hard to stay up until the end and I did, but only because of a Wicked Good Whoopie.  We are just close enough to the far North to get Maine’s famous Isomax Whoopie Pies.

I wasn’t even lying about the million calorie hangover.  It was Fat Sunday, but that’s in the past, because today is Skinny Monday. I shall eat accordingly.

Source: someecards.com via Tricia on Pinterest

This weekend nearly sent me into a stroke.  A report card landed in my mailbox on Saturday afternoon and my child’s (who shall remain nameless) world tilted on their axis.

I paced and I yelled and threatened World War III if things don’t change.  I am not proud of my emotional outburst, but I felt like I was trapped in a cartoon and the line of red was creeping over my face, higher and higher, until smoke began pouring from ears.

My lid popped.

Then I spent the remainder of the weekend emailing with one nameless Math teacher and plotting to make my child’s life a living hell until the next report card comes in the hands of our mailman.

Source: someecards.com via Tricia on Pinterest

There’s no capability problem.  It’s quite the opposite.  This is an advanced Math class, the kind where your GPA must be kept above a certain number or you get kicked out.  The problem is that one said child would rather draw than do algebra.

I hate math as much as the next person.  I really do, but schools are funny about this subject, they insist on making you take a math class every year until graduation.

In all the madness, I ate one entire bag of cherry m&m’s (not all in one sitting).  I’m like a m&m addict.  I sat in front of the fire taking deep, cleansing breaths and popping in a bright red m&m.  Someone launch an intervention please.

This morning, I woke up to the sound of a plow truck.  I have a headache and my daughter almost missed the school bus.  I would wish you all a happy Monday, but I would totally be faking it.

My wish for today is that m&m’s would come in a low calorie version and my other child would just remember the capital of California, because if I have to say S-A-C-R-A-M-E-N-T-O one more time, I may need another bag of cherry m&m’s.

Now I’ll stop talking, because when the headache wears off, I will regret my rant.

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Oh, and happy Monday.  Sort of.

If you really want to have a Happy Monday, go visit Lisa Leonard and say Hello to something nice and sunshiny for me.  Deal?

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Freeze, Football, and Funnies

My kids have picked up my extremely bad habit of jotting down thoughts.  Maybe this stems from not enough common sense, but we put things in writing so they can haunt us for the rest of our lives.  We make friends and enemies with our written words.  It’s not smart.

FringeBoy constantly makes these little cartoon books.  Once an idea is on paper, it’s off his radar and left for his nosy mother to find.  If I want to know what’s going on inside my son’s head, I just leave him alone with a pencil and a few scraps of paper.  He never intends for me to read, so I can’t share his musings with all mankind and the cat sitting on your lap.  It’s unfortunate.

While scrolling through my two thousand too many photos stored on my hard drive and causing my computer to run at the speed of sludge, I happened upon this note from my son.  It’s a few years old, but made me laugh just as much as the first time I found it resting next to my coffee cup.

FringeBoy is very constitutional, while my daughter is more of the doodle silly things on the back of an empty pizza box kind of kid.

Equally goofy, they are also the reason I cannot think of anything but multiplication tables and aerodynamics this evening.

No real news to report on the Fringe.  I can sum up my weekend in one word – SNOW.

I can sum up my month in one word – SNOW.

My life in three words – SNOW, SLEET, and ICE.

The back of my house is leaking like a rusty faucet and the big melt is months out.  About March, I may start sleeping in a life vest.  Major flooding seems inevitable.  For now we will pick away at the ice jam creeping under the back roof.

I suggested we just knock the mudroom down and crown the Freeze Miser king.  FringeMan’s only response was a dirty look.

Thankfully the weather didn’t interrupt the Super Bowl.  Half our country’s men would have had cardiac episodes.

FringeMan and I considered having a Super Bowl party, but then we remembered we canceled cable in order to save money.  “You don’t think anyone would want to come over and listen to the game on the radio, do you?”  I asked knowing the answer in my heart.

I did not watch the game.

I did not see any hysterical commercials.

I am not terribly sad.

I don’t even miss cable.

I can watch Pickers online.

I do hope your team won!

Tell me about the best commercial.  I may be persuaded to watch it online.

What word sums up your weekend?